“Coincidence is the word we use when we can’t see the levers and pulleys.” ~Emma Bull

I have pretty much tried to stay out of all the stuff going on with that Bunny puke guy and the iPad controversy. The part that does intrigue me is that people are amazed that someone within “our community” would, in fact, be a puke (and I have no clue if, in fact, he has a disabled kid, nor do I care).

Earlier this week there was a horrific crime in New York that has been reported around the world. A young boy was kidnapped, murdered, dismembered and his body further desecrated by a member of the boy’s community, a close knit, religious community (yes, I know the nuances of the story and the actual members of the actual community, but that is moot here). One of their own, completely and utterly consumed by evil, perpetrating the worst upon another.

Just a coincidence that I was thinking of the iPad thing when I heard about the NY thing on the radio. Not equatable other than being consumed by one’s own.


I have spent the last two days helping a friend disappear. It has to do with abuse, family, and stuff like that. Nowadays it is not so difficult, my tools were the Internet, fax machine, phone, credit card, and some subterfuge. The kids think they just happen to be on vacation without dad.

Pearlsky and I went for a long walk this morning. We explored parts of the neighborhood I have never seen, and I’ve lived here for over thirty years! First we came across an old cemetery. It was really cool with gravestones from the early 1800′s. As we continued on, there was one of those historical marker sign things you occasionally see on the highway or a trail or something.

This is the location of the Webster Estate, an important part of the Underground Railroad starting in 1848 …

So I got to thinking … will there always be people running away from awful situations? The horrors that necessitated the Underground Railroad, forms of psychological, if not physical abuse, and more. And I think I have problems and sometimes just want to run away …

Just a coincidence that I was thinking of the her when we came upon the marker?

I asked Pearlsky if she ever wanted to run away from daddy. Sometimes that lack of communication thing has its advantages, no?


Mom greeted me at the door the other day with a big hug … the kind only your mom can give you. But hers came with something special. A list.

In the first few hours … re-programmed the garage door remotes, got the laptop on wifi with a wireless printer server as well, rewired the telephone, fixed the front light timer, checked and labeled the boxes on the top shelf in the garage, took Mom to dinner, asked the gorgeous waitress to go to Prague with me, got rejected in front of my mother (something about a husband, the state trooper), went through Dad’s closet in his office, and compounded the bumper of Mom’s car.

Then we went to page two.


The summer program is going well for Pearlsky, other than the difficulty with them finding an occupational therapist. There is a physical therapist, though, and I think that is more important for Pearlsky.

She does have two large red inflamed areas on her face still from the allergic reaction last week. They are slowly going away, very slowly. And don’t even think of asking if they itch or if they bother her. Back to that lack of communication thing … has its disadvantages, no?


And keep those applications, resumes and pictures coming for the Prague trip and more! The risqué pictures are very much appreciated, but Ken, I told you you are not eligible …

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9 thoughts on ““Coincidence is the word we use when we can’t see the levers and pulleys.” ~Emma Bull

  1. And I was all ready to scan in the ONE photograph that does exist of me wearing a dress, from a thing we called Senior Week and a slightly drunken evening in a very cliche coastal town called Ocean City, Maryland.

    You didn’t ask, but I think it has more disadvantages than advantages. You ever watch Hitchcock movies? Didn’t he used to say that it’s what you DON’T show that was so fuckin’ scary? Chris Carter said the same thing hen he would talk about The X-Files. He almost thanked the FOX censors because THEY made the show scarier by making him cut so much out.

    What is left to the imagination ends up forcing us to fill in the gaps, and what we fill in is usually ten times more frightening than what is actually there.

    I think that when we don’t hear what our kids have to say, it’s a little like that. Just a little, because our worries can get…amplified. What we fill in is probably, not always but probably, worse than what is actually going on inside their minds. Especially since we carry around Guilt anyway, both from being SN parents, and because of any Guilt-Specializing religions we might be involved with, in my case Catholicism.

    The other side of the argument is of course denial, which non-communication will allow some people to use as a defense mechanism. So there is that.

  2. If she can tolerate the ingredients, solarcaine gel is really good for making painful rashes stop hurting quickly (or possible hurting, in this situation). It’s a topical sunburn gel with some aloe and a painkiller in it.

  3. I second Mary Dell’s recommendation.

    I looked around for the details of the iPad thing and I have to say, I am appalled. I’ll never, ever, ask anyone for money or raffle anything off on the internet, and I’m disinclined to donate money to anyone I haven’t interacted with personally. Still, that Marissa’s Dad guy should not only be ashamed of himself, he should be prosecuted for grand theft. He really did a good job of playing the Pity Me violin and his story-spinning went from the sublime to the absurd.

  4. I am very pleased to read your mother is doing well enough to present you with a hug and a list, even if by coincidence….

    Ken is leaving perfectly philosophical comments now! He is learning from you, SD, and I don’t think it is just coincidental. Ken would be more fun as a travel companion than one who brings a state trooper after you.

    Not coincidentally, I’m appalled that you asked Pearlsky a question.

    Not coincidentally, you provide proof of your big heart by helping a family escape domestic danger. Good man. Surely a suitable travel partner for you will identify herself in time, and not coincidentally.

    Have I told you I don’t believe in coincidence?

  5. @Barbara
    I’ve had something of a transormative experience of late, so I’m much more likely to leave comments that have a lot more thought behind them and are more…hey look! BOOBIES!!!

    @Claire
    You don’t say?

  6. I connected those two events as well, for the same reason. You hear about the Ipads and think, well, I can’t trust online people I can’t actually see. And then you realize it’s not so simple to trust the people you do see, every day sometimes…

    Hope your disappearing friend’s life goes well from hear on out. And hurray for the summer going well so far.

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