“Never tell me the odds.” ~Hans Solo

Damn, that’s scary news. I’m hoping, fervently, right now.

Thanks my friend. I appreciate it. These past couple of weeks I have had a very weird sort of journey/epiphany, and I am still trying to figure out how to write about it.

I didn’t comment in your week’s stuff, but the fact that Nurse Hellbound is still on the payroll over there makes me wanna puke. I can’t believe the serious lack of sincerity/human compassion that some people in the human compassion field can have.

As for the infection…how will you be able to tell if/when it is getting under control? Are more serious antibiotics going to be administered?

And dude…DUDE…’Hans Solo’? Is his Wookiee first mate called Frans? Is he here to pump you up? HAN Solo. HAN. My apologies, but the Star Wars fanatic in me simply cannot let that pass.

“there are connections between loss of a child at the start, loss of one later in life, and what me and my ex have experienced twice, accepting the loss of that we never had.”
Yes, yes, and YES! I agree that parents with children who have special needs often need to go through a mourning period for the child and life that will never be. Does it sound terrible to those who have never been through it, that we don’t always behave like inspirational characters in a Lifetime made – for – TV movie? Probably, but what do they know?
Speaking of those who don’t know, forget about the CDC and their statistics. Pearlsky seems like a tough kid; she’s going to be fine. Take care.

One meaning of grief is to “be mentally pained or distressed.” Anything that doesn’t work out quite as we’d planned can distress us. When it involves our children, it’s especially painful. A lot of people, including me, do grieve sometimes over our lost dreams, even if we’re okay and happy with our current lives, and wouldn’t actually change it.

Let me add some more information … Pearlsky normally has 75% kidney function because of the vesicoureteral reflux she had years ago and recurring UTI’s. She got gravely ill at one point with a bladder / kidney infection. I have been concerned for weeks that the reflux is back, and IF it is, and this current infection is both in her bladder AND her kidney, we can have a significant problem. Yes, Pearlsky is tough, tougher than most people I know actually, but this needs to be resolved. There have been some emails this weekend with docs, hopefully more information soon. She still has blood in her urine and is intermittently crying. Me too. She is on the strongest antibiotic that makes sense for home dispensing, and it is proven to work on this bacteria, so we should see results soon.

Kens: Star Wars? Isn’t that Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian in a cat fight? As for the “s,” Pearlsky insisted that was correct, and you wouldn’t argue with a retarded cripple beautiful young lady, now, would you?

Eric: We may all grieve for different things or different reasons. It is a very personal thing and one that I would never castigate others for their reasons or outlooks. Many parents grieve, for years even, over the death of an infant, over a still born child, and yes, over a disabled child. I know parents of children who became disabled during childhood, and there will be a sense of grief for life, especially when they see the advancements of siblings. Just because I may grieve the Pearlsky I will never have, the “normal” daughter I longed for for years, does not mean that I do not fully, completely and totally adore the daughter I have, I am proud of her, she is everything to me. But, alas, I grieve not having “normal” children, I grieve that Pearlsky won’t fulfill so much of what I, and quite possibly, she, desires.

And, Eric, I appreciate the link on your blog to mine, but your analysis of what I am thinking does show your lack of skills at telepathy. Stick to espousing what you are thinking.

Ouch, I didn’t realize that Pearlsky had kidney problems. It really does sound like a scary ordeal. Keeping her and you in my thoughts. Keep us posted if you can.
A final word, Eric – show me the parent of a child with special needs who claims to have never grieved once – who says he has never had the slightest stab of pain over his child’s difficulties and wondered what it would have been like if his child didn’t have special needs – and I will show you a parent who has bullshit pouring out of his ears. Cheers.