So sue me.
You need to read the previous post and comments if you are interested in following this one.
I thought I was writing a post disagreeing with another blogger’s use and definition of “special education” and some other issues, and I end up getting beat-up by “friends” … đ
First, the use of the r-word. Four years ago I stood in front of a judge, in a court of law, and had to swear that Pearlsky was “retarded.” The word came up a few times. Educators who hate the word often do refer to “MR” (not “mister” but M. R.) which is code for mentally retarded. They will say things, all in a “good” sense, “If the testing shows MR we will …” In my book, saying MR is the same as saying mentally retarded. Now, of course I get the vileness of the word when kids are teasing each other, etc. and in my day being called a “spaz” or “spastic” was really bad and hurtful, but Pearlsky is very spastic. Yes, there are times I use the word for effect (see here), and I do generally refrain from using it, but personally, I don’t think it puts me in bed with Ann Coulter when I use it (an argument can be made that Ms. Coulter suffers from MR …).
Second …
âHe does not get that being a bright, articulate man in a wheelchair has absolutely nothing to do with us and our children. His disability has nothing in common with Pearlskyâs other than neither can walk.â In facing discrimination, social alienation and battles for accommodation, he has everything in common with âour childrenâ. (comment from last post)
I can only speak for myself and Pearlsky, but she has faced NO discrimination, social alienation nor battle for accommodation. There are negative reactions to the two of us in that me being a single father taking care of a young woman, but that is it. We have been to water parks and hotels with no problem. No issues in public, restaurants, etc. I really don’t see how there is even a weak tie between anything Mr. Peace claims to experience and what Pearlsky faces.
âHis disability, his world, has nothing to do with special education.â Perhaps, but I think you are incredibly naive to imagine that individuals in wheelchairs, intellectually competent as they may be, do not face stigma and assumptions about their intellectual abilities in school. What is the law and what is actually happening in schools is another affair also. (Ibid.)
One must understand that anything out of the norm costs a school money. Implementing a 504 plan, and especially implementing an IEP, costs money (two of the primary parts of “special education”). A lot of money. The school does not make negative assumptions about the intellectual abilites of anyone, that is NOT in their best interest. It is often a fight to get special accommodations or an IEP. I have never met a single educator (and especially not a single administrator) who makes a negative intellectual assumption about any child simply by knowing there is a wheelchair involved. Sorry, but I do not buy this.
Not all can afford an advocate, not all represent themselves or their childâs interests very well. (Ibid.)
Free advocacy for any of my readers who cannot afford my rates. Period.
Furthermore, many wheelchair users do ride âthe short busâ which is usually also called the âretard busâ because few (are there any even?) regular buses that carry the other children that go to school have lifts on them. I imagine only the adults around you call it âPearlskyâs busâ. Hang around the other high school kids for a while. Short bus = stigma.
I took issue with his quote, ” âSpecial educationâ buses are routinely referred to in secondary schools as the âretard bus⠔ primarily because of his use of the word “routinely.” “Routinely” as in “standard practice” or “regularly” or “habitually”? I asked, nothing derogatory is known to be said at Pearlsky’s “normal” high school. I asked a few people. Four parents of “typical” kids had no clue of this. Maybe it is routine at the college where Mr. Peace teaches, and I can not argue if he is talking about first hand knowledge, but it is not routine around here. Is there a stigma being on the “short bus”? Maybe, if some school kid cares enough to think about it. Is it “routinely referred to in secondary schools as the “retard bus”” … I doubt it.
Remember, our kids, ALL KIDS, are entitled to a FREE APPROPRIATE PUBLIC EDUCATION (FAPE) in the LEAST RESTRICTIVE ENVIRONMENT (LRE). They should be as mainstreamed as possible while ensuring an appropriate education. A parent complaining that their lazy child only gets C’s does not have a case for special education; students are not guaranteed a superior education, nor a straight A education, but an appropriate education.
An appropriate education is guaranteed and in as “normal” a placement as possible. That may be a regular class room, it may be in a resource room, it may be in a special education room. It may include basic algebra or it may include trying to hit a switch.
Did Pearlsky get an “appropriate” education? Good question. But if not, whose fault? The schools? The parent? The holy one, blessed be She?
Hmm is it wrong to point out that if Ann Coulter did roll around in bed maybe she wouldn’t be so _______?
Well now you did it, you made me snort.
Ok, I’ll sue you. But the problem is if I win I will probably owe YOU money. I am sorry to hear the criticism, all I can say is what poo-poo head.
On another note, I have tried to e-mail you directly but keep getting bounced :\. If you can would you mind sending me a different e-mail address? I would like to follow up our conversation from a couple of month’s ago. Muchos gracias my socially inappropriate buddy.
Yeah! I think my e-mail went through this time. So either I am a blithering idiot or some random nutjob talking to herself on your blog. Your choice.
I feel like this whole situation with your last post has turned you off blogging again. Such a shame. Obviously your feelings were hurt by comments from so called friends. You still have a lot of parents out here that are interested in what you have to say. Hope everything is ok (from Australia)
I second this comment (unfortunately not the “from Australia” part, but the rest of it). Hoping all is well. I miss you.
I really hope all is well with you and yours and you eventually return to this blog.
I agree, I miss you! I actually had a dream the other night that you posted. Go figure.
ALL IS FORGIVEN. COME HOME! Seriously, you are missed. Hope everything is OK.
As a high school teacher, I have to agree with you on every point. We have a young man in a wheelchair because of a car accident that took the life of his mother. His only accommodation is that he gets to leave his classes five minutes early in order to avoid hallway traffic. He takes college level classes, including Foreign Language (oops, it’s now called “World Languages” because “foreign” sounds too third world…true story).
We have a large Exceptional Ed. department (again, more “pretty” talk for special ed.). No one thinks it’s for stupid kids; all of the kids realize that these buses have the seating and lifts that wheelchair bound kids need. Look, I’m an able bodied woman and people have treated me like I’m stupid, but I didn’t think it was because of some physical aspect of myself.
Have a good and restful Thanksgiving-you so deserve it!
As a high school teacher, I have to agree with you on every point. We have a young man in a wheelchair because of a car accident that took the life of his mother. His only accommodation is that he gets to leave his classes five minutes early in order to avoid hallway traffic. He takes college level classes, including Foreign Language (oops, it’s now called “World Languages” because “foreign” sounds too third world…true story).
We have a large Exceptional Ed. department (again, more “pretty” talk for special ed.). No one thinks the short busses are for stupid kids; all of the kids realize that these buses have the seating and lifts that wheelchair bound kids need. Look, I’m an able bodied woman and people have treated me like I’m stupid, but I didn’t think it was because of some physical aspect of myself.
Have a good and restful Thanksgiving-you so deserve it!
Just wanted to wish you & your kids a belated Happy Thanksgiving…..hope all is well or at least status quo.
Great read. I will share any experiences with you as they come up. Keep up the Great work you do and remember that even if your daughter doesn’t respond physically or verbally she is responding to your nurturing, or she wouldn’t be here today. You do what you can and she will respond someday, somehow, even if it is in the littlest of ways. Happy Holidays to you and your children. I found our conversation today very uplifting.
Wishing you’d come back now
Me, too. Please?
I agree with everyone, I really miss you! I hope you and Pearlsky are happy and healthy.
I hope you’re ok. Miss you.
Ok is relative. Yes, I think I am. Now. And I have missed all of you too. I think I’m back.
I’ve been checking back periodically throughout the year. Has something happened? Or rather, have you, like so many others, given up and left the loyal readers alone to wonder about every possible scenario.
Where are you SD?
Been waiting for the mothership to come.
She has disappointed me … but readers like you have not.
I think I am back. Thank you.
OK. It is one month until the anniversary of the last time you posted and some of us have loyally clung to the belief that you would be back. I even bothered another blogger and she said you’d be back. Some of us out here are really concerned, How about an update and then if you are really done you can say so and go out in style.
I am back … hopefully for real. Thank you!
Like the other commenters, I have also been checking back for updates. Despite not knowing you in real life, I think of you guys often and hope you have been okay over this past year. Take care, & *hugs*.
It is those hugs that did it … I think I’m back. THANK YOU.