“Dad, do you know what schadenfreude is?” ~Lisa Marie Simpson

Although I absolutely hate the recent changes to their site, I check the MSNBC web site first in the morning to see if I missed anything real big while sleeping (like the LHC and my desired black hole …). After reading the headlines this morning, I figure everyone else is being shat upon, my day isn’t going to be so bad. And you know, I was right.

• Several shot at Connecticut beer distributor
• Six La. teenagers drown as they try to save each other
• Four killed in clash over tree at Israel-Lebanon border
• Pakistan’s largest city descends into chaos after assassination
• Masked gunman attacks Indianapolis birthday party
• Pending home sales sank 2.6 percent in June
• Consumer spending, incomes stalled in June
• Tokyo’s oldest person, age 113, goes missing
• Scoop: Lohan will need new habits after rehab
• Tidbits: ‘Mad Men’ creator wants curvy ladies

They are all real, you can even click on the screenshot and see! Gotta say, all things considered, I had a good day.

Lisa: Dad, do you know what schadenfreude is?
Homer: [sarcastic] No, I do not know what schadenfreude is, please tell me because I am dying to know.
Lisa: It’s a German word for shameful joy, taking pleasure in the suffering of others.
Homer: Oh, come on, Lisa. I’m just glad to see him fall flat on his butt! He’s usually all happy and comfortable, and surrounded by loved ones, and it makes me feel…what’s the opposite of that shameful joy thing of yours?
Lisa: Sour grapes.
Homer: Boy, those Germans have a word for everything.

(“When Flanders Failed,” third episode of the The Simpsons’ third season, October 3, 1991)

No, I don’t have schadenfreude when reading the news, but I am glad God’s attention is elsewhere today. Now, about the curvy ladies …