“need help”
Just a normal evening. Pearlsky was in her play area just hanging out and her geek dad was actually working on the new look for his blog (very early preview here).
About seven-thirty I started feeling a bit queasy, and by eight o’clock I was in full fledged “hugging the porcelain throne” mode. I was retching pretty hard, and I won’t go into detail as Ken might, it was not pretty. All I had to eat all day was a tuna sandwich four hours earlier, no clue what was up.
Ever since the incidents with my back, I always have either a help-I-can’t-get-up thingy with me, or my cell phone. This was a bad situation, I was on the bathroom floor, weak and dizzy. Being the macho moron I am, I knew it would get better, I’d be fine, and I would be able to deal with Pearlsky.
I could not get up and about twenty minutes later, well, let’s say I was using the toilet for the other end … my other end.
One of the few times in my life I really reached out, I texted our primary nanny “need help.” Just then an ex-nanny, and dear friend, happened to call and just said “I am coming over with my husband” before I could say “no.”
The toughest part in the emergency room was when a woman came by with her computer to register me while I was on a gurney. At one point she asked, “Is your emergency contact still your father?” Ouch. Ummm, no, he died. Then I could not think of who to appoint. Mom is getting on in years, and what is an “emergency contact” anyway? Who to call if I die? Took me all too long to come up with a name. That sucked.
The nanny was able to come and stay overnight. What if she could not? Who do we get to take care of our kids in an emergency? Is there anyway a nurse off the street would have a clue? How to document everything? How many trained caretakers are enough? Why should they drop everything in an emergency to help? Should I have just brought Pearlsky with me to the emergency room? Thought of doing that …
Turns out either food poisoning or a norovirus.
Ever tell you I have a low tolerance for residents?
Your blood work is fairly normal.
Fairly?
Yes, all the numbers are in the normal range.
Then what did you mean by “fairly”? What would make the blood work “normal”?
He just walked away.
Just heard on the television, just now, Madonna says that being a single mom raising four children is “challenging.”
Up yours, Madonna.
Sorry to hear that you were sick enough for an ER visit! I stayed home from work today with a bad headache and queasiness, and I was very glad that Daniel was in school all day. I need to work on having back-up,too. Hope you’re on the mend!
So glad your friends/ex-nanny could plug in. Be well!
Too many questions. I prefer the head-in-the-sand approach. Happy to know you are well enough to post.
Oh, dear.
Wish that I lived closer. But you could always put me on your speed dial and I’d find someone to come help you until I get there. 🙂
Don’t bring her to ER! With your luck, you’ll get some overzealous social worker who will decide that you can’ttake care of Pearlsky and stick her in foster care!
Hope you are feeling better!
Get well soon SD!
I’m so sorry! It sounds awful. I hope you recover very quickly.
This is one of my biggest fears. I am also a single parent to 5, 2 of whom have significant disabilities. I know the time is going to come when I am not able to care for my children. It may come as a heart attack or even worse, but then what? Like you said, just any nurse off the street wouldn’t have a clue.
What do we do? Start to document everything and put it in a “read in an emergency’ envelope? And like you, when asked for an emergency contact, I have to write ‘none’…..
Nice (new) look. Acknowledging no one can take care of Pearlsky as perfectly as you, I think you are smart enough to figure out a temporary back-up plan for care that would sustain her until you get back on your feet. No?
My Studly Hubby and I have agreed that I will no longer eat any fish from a restaurant, now, after 3 episodes like yours. Also always about 4 hours later.
The only reason I can think of to go to the ER after food poisoning is to get iv fluids. No matter how much you hate it, someone should be contacted if you die or are in a lengthy unconsciousness. You didn’t mention Pearlsky’s mom or your sister. Contacted.
I am sorry to hear about the night that s–ked. You have pinpointed a real fear on my part; I still list my parents as an extra contact though my spouse is the main one. But, they are 70+ and I know I won’t be able to do that forever. I worked in a hospital and I would have to be near unconscious to go to the ER. I can picture your scenario very clearly with the staff that pass in the night! I honestly don’t know who would take over for me-that is pretty scary. My spouse has to work to keep this train on the track.
Well that blows. That resident was fairly stupid.
First off I hope you are feeling better, both with the food poisioning and maybe more importantly with the emotion drain it put you through. I too have no emergency contact information (my parents passed) and no emergency help for my oldest girl. We don’t have nursing, no family no capable friends. There is no daily break even, I am a stay at home mom, and her dad works from home. She gets driven to school and picked up (don’t trust busing here they LIE). What you describe is my 2nd biggest fear (last week we were in the hospital with a too close call). I pray that my two younger children will be close and loving to their older sister (and each other) and when we are no longer here they will either care for her or look after care for her…mostly I just hope they LOVE her and never see her as a burden!?
Erin……you are so right!
Glad you are both doing well. Well, at least one of you! I hope you are doing better. I went through this last May when I gave birth. It was a nightmare! Luckily, all went perfect and I was home in 42 hours. My husband does a great job with Hannah’s care, and I have a sister that was able to help through the nights. It’s never enough though. My husband works full time away from home, so he needs rest. He’s paying the bills! I keep telling myself I need to train another person on how to care for her. Lots of Family and Friends say they want to help, but there is so much. Training would take more than one day!
So sorry to hear you were so sick.
I’m thinking . . . you already have Pearlsky’s full list of medications and doctors in a tag on her chair. How about a little booklet explaining her full schedule, ALL relevant numbers and emails for teachers, therapists, etc, instructions how to use the lift, as much as you can on what she eats and how to care for her, and keep it in a ziplock in a pocket of her chair?
OR
Write “in case of emergency, go to the following website” and give the password for a secured site with all the info on it, so you can easily update it, for example with her summer schedule, etc.?
Gee whiz, SD, you don’t do these things by half.
If you want, I wouldn’t mind sending you a copy of the ‘Becca manual’ my primary caregiver wrote when one day a few years ago I unavoidably had to have a total stranger providing all my support for something like a 12 hour period. As I can’t always communicate easily (sometimes not at all these days), it had to cover EVERYTHING.
Or you could get her a Medic Alert necklace, first responders are trained to look for those.
“Up Yours, Madonna” Indeed. Well played, sir. That’s the kind of situation where I find it extremely difficult to match her shit-o-meter level 6 with my shit-o-meter level 6. (and my 6 looks like a 2 to you. I am well aware of that).
Yes, you were REALLY sick but it was clear that you were on the mend when you had the mental acuity to call out the resident on the blood test results! Go SD!
All the above suggestions about emergency care stuff are great and better than any I could come up with.
I’m having my own bout with that virus – I raise a glass a de-carbonated ginger ale to you.
Yeah. Madonna can suck it.
Sorry you were so sick. That’s shitty (pun intended)
Also let me say that I love that you title was you quoting yourself from the bathroom floor. I like it.
Reading blogs by parents in similar situation as Joey and mine is a double edge sword for me.I find strength in your perseverance but am terrified that our situation is so much more with out support or hope than most.Im broken,hit by simi on interstate and we have no help.parents are gone no siblings or relatives.no respit help available even though we qualify.If I could afford a nanny would be a gift from God,I can only dream of what comfort that would be.that its devastating for all parents with autistic children is a given but it can always get worse this I know.One day at a time and the fact that my son isn’t suffering from additional illness keeps me going some how.but I worry and the stress is overwhelming.I pray for us all and whis I could make it better for every one.