“There’s no bitch on earth like a mother frightened for her kids.” ~Stephen King
I always seem to write a Mother’s Day post. My mom hates the day, she has children that treat her right and tell her they love her all the time, we don’t celebrate her or our relationship just one day. That said, I did send flowers and “signed” everyone’s name.
A couple of times this week I got tweaked (don’t have a good word for it actually) at some things I read. A woman whom I have the utmost respect for, seriously, she has a severely disabled child, she seems to be an amazing mom and woman (it is not her fault she is a school nurse, or is it social worker?), anyway … she was looking for information and starts her post with “Hey seizure mama’s …”
Then there is the Huffington Post with 6 Secrets Special Needs Moms Know But Won’t Tell You …
I do realize the reality of the situation. I know that more moms are the primary caretaker for a severely disabled child, but heck, some of us dads own that role. I also understand that many marriages are destroyed by the chasm that arises between mom and dad in both the role of childcare, the perception of the disabilities, and everything else surrounding the situation. I get that this is a gender thing (as opposed to a “sex” thing which, let’s face it, got us into this mess to begin with).
Pearlsky’s mom shows up about twice a month for maybe fifteen minutes to visit. She lives in the same town. Just who is Pearlsky’s “mom” anyway? Does one need to have both roles filled? I think so, growing up without both role models must make things more difficult later in life, no? (And don’t go all LGBT on me, I am talking more general, etc. I have no issue with same sex marriages, it is no sex marriages that I have problems with.) One parent has one opinion, one way of doing things, no one to hear them scream …
Keeping the focus narrowed, if you believe in it, I wish all the mamas of the severely disabled, all the single dads (hence part mama) of the severely disabled, all my readers, a happy mother’s day.
As for me … at least one dear friend thinks I am a mother … these arrived earlier today with the note “For a dad who is a wonderful mom” …
I always look upon sole parents as both mum and dad, becaue we are!~
I love your mum..and I still have kept “adore”..thank her for me one day, please?
xx
Much love, the Aussie girl.
because* I know you are probably fluent in typo, but the obsessive compulsive in me can’t let it go by without correctly =D x
erm..correcting* I’m shutting up now.
I’ve been following your blog for awhile now and will say the same thing to you that I said to a male friend of mine who is the primary caretaker of his children: “mothering” is much more an important verb than “mother” is a noun. I’ve no idea how “mothering” came to indicate more of an everyday, TLC-type of parenting than “fathering,” but in any case, Happy Mothers Day to you!
I like what Stephanie – said so Happy Mothering Day to you
How awesome someone sent flowers…they are well-deserved!
no clue where the hyphen came from up there….
I hope Becca-Jane’s OCD does not kick in 😉
Careful Carol, it’s contagious! 😉
I’m telling you, in this society I do not get why there is not a concerted effort to create and truly celebrate a Single Parent Day. It is Herculean to raise a kid by yerself, and throw in the fact that your child is disabled to boot? Tougher still.
That’s a White House petition that deserves to be sent WAY more than one about Tim Tebow.
I actually always think of you as a “mother” to your children — but I’m wondering whether you’re celebrated also as a father on Father’s Day?
I understand why you are tweaked about the assumptions regarding who does what when caring for a child with special needs. Let’s face it – Mom is usually the primary caregiver. It does seem, however, that dads often don’t get the respect and support they deserve. I’ve met some great dads who are far more involved in the therapies, doctor appointments, IEP meetings, and all that jazz than Mom will ever be.
I can say from experience as someone who has been both the kid and the “involved” caregiver that uninvolved parents generally suck, and it’s better to have no second parent at all than to have a crappy second parent. That goes for both genders.
Before I blather more than I already have, I’ll say for the umpteenth time that you’re an awesome parent for all you do for Pearlsky. I have much respect for you.
Happy Mother’s Day to you! And as a single parent also, Happy Father’s day to me 🙂
Just wanted to say that in my solitary experience, having only one parent raise me presented no problems for my future. Also, I am my 3 children’s only parent in the picture (one severely disabled) and they have grown up awesomely. I actually prefer to raise my children alone 🙂 Calm household, no tension, happy childhoods, loving children.
Uninvolved parents? Their loss in every way.