Just stick it in.
Time to raise the ire of my readers.
This past week, the first week of ESY, extended school year, has been the nightmare it always is. They say they are trained in Pearlsky’s care, yet they don’t feed her. I know this from Pearlsky coming home very hungry, and from some of the notes. Maybe I will back fill you on that later, here is today’s email.
Assistant Superintendent:
First I want to thank you again for your help on Thursday. I always try to deal with situations in the correct chain of command, and as you know, S was out for the two days. I honestly felt (and still do to a degree) that Pearlsky was not safe and was not being treated appropriately. I reached out to others and you got involved since we felt the situation warranted it.
The feeding issue may have been resolved. I was (finally) asked to come in and show how to feed Pearlsky. After 17 years in the district. My demonstration was rather different than their methodology. Also, the nurse who tried feeding Pearlsky earlier in the week (and failed judging by Pearlsky’s great hunger when she came home) was not there.
Second, I do have an issue directly in your purvue. I have an issue with the nurse and it is not appropriate for me to go to K with this, so you are the lucky one.
When Pearlsky was dropped off on Thursday the nurse asked me “Do you want Pearlsky to go swimming tomorrow?” I said “of course, why do you ask?” And all she responded with was “Are you sure she should go swimming?” My response was “She should go swimming as often as possible, it is the only thing we know she loves to do. Why are you asking?” And she simply said “ok.” Note that I asked multiple times why she was asking, to no avail. I was so curious, I told this story to two friends, we could not figure it out. I may have even mentioned it to you that day.
That evening, George, the teacher, called. Most of the call was nonsense, but I discussed that with S already. Then I said to George, “Do you know why the nurse was asking me if Pearlsky can swim tomorrow?”
He said,”Yes, she is concerned because the flow of Pearlsky’s period is heavy.”
1. Actually, it was almost over, so no, it was not heavy.
2. Why is the nurse discussing Pearlsky’s menses with the teacher?
3. Why does the nurse refuse, REFUSE, to discuss or even mention Pearlsky’s menstrual flow to me?
4. Just the mere fact that Pearlsky has her period is her health and medical information. Is it typical for this to be discussed with teachers? Do the nurses report to teachers or pool personnel if a student comes in for a tampon? Is the student then flagged somehow for special treatment as Pearlsky seems to have been? How often are teachers informed of the menstrual cycle of their students for any reason? Does it only happen with the disabled ones, or just Pearlsky?
5. Does this not violate HIPAA? I have never given permission for this type of information to be shared. Why was it? What other information do the nurses share with teachers AND NOT parents?
6. If, in fact, Pearlsky’s menstrual flow necessitates a tampon for swimming, and if in fact, as I am told, the nurses have tampons for such instances, why is the discussion happening with the teacher, being avoided with the father / guardian, and why was Pearlsky not allowed to swim on Friday after I explicitly, clearly and repeatedly told the nurse I wanted her to? Why was Pearlsky denied the one thing she enjoys most? It is even mentioned clearly in her IEP that swimming should be enabled, why was she left out for want of a single tampon?
I appreciate your help with this and await your responses.
Thank you.
How many of you are going to be weirded out by this? You are thinking “What? Have the nurse or an aide put a tampon in her?”
Just remember, swimming is the only thing we know that she truly enjoys. Period. I’d shove the tampon up my butt if that what it took to get her in the pool.
[repeat plea from last post] If you are going to leave a comment on this post, please do it before reading more. See, I am going to change the subject, and people usually on comment on the last subject, human nature you know.
Two things:
1. Anyone have any connection with the Travel Channel? Let me know.
2. There are websites that are communities or forums for parents of special needs kids where you can interact and stuff. I am making one as well. Mine won’t be mine, it will be ours. Tell me your suggestions now for what it should have, features, etc. for you to be interested in going there and joining in.
Thanks.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but in the past you made reference to her period being caught by her diaper, or was that just “overflow” shall I say. If she wears a swim diaper shouldn’t it not make a difference? Plus swimming can feel really good when crampy.
A swim diaper should be just fine. I assume there is a general rule of no swimming if you have your period, and there is an unwritten rule that tampons are ok. I cannot get a straight answer … yet.
What is this, 1954? People swim during their periods now. If there actually is a “no swimming when you have your period” rule, then you should drop the word to a female friend associated with the school to raise an issue with *that*.
I totally understand where you are coming from regarding the swimming issue. My daughter who was very similar to Pearlsky absolutely loved to be in the water. A year ago in June after a month in the PICU she was discharged on hospice. We were asked what we wanted most for her at that time, and we said we just wanted her to be able to go swimming at least one more time. Amazingly she was able to swim several times last summer, before she passed away in November. Life is really just a series of moments, and those were my daughter’s,as these are now Pearlsky’s. She should not be denied doing what she loves most for the mere need of a lousy tampon.
And.. Yes I do have ideas about what I would have wanted in a special needs forum… Just can’t stand typing in this little box!
So.. does the nurse ask all the female students,teachers, swim coach, lifeguard, if they have their period before they are allowed to swim? The nurse needs to get over her hang ups about the tampon. Is she a registered nurse or a health aid?
As always I am speechless!!!’ Move to NY we never have this conversation here! My 14 year old goes in pool every Friday regardless of period….she has on a diaper and then a swim diaper on top, then her bathing suit never ever has she been stopped! But this is a specialized school for children and adults with disabilities. We’ve had feeding fights (we’ve won) and wheelchair style debates; but never the bull shit you are constantly put through!
My god you’d think after all these years they’d just do whatever you want just to get your emails to stop ; )
Btw was the nurse worried about sharks perhaps? : /
I am only weirded out by the fact that the swimwear you provided is not considered appropriate but they think someone putting a tampon in her just honkey dory. So how many of either sexes have accidents in the pool and why are those bodily fluids ok if they are not in something to “catch” them?
I find that pretty disgraceful. Surely they know that, much as every female over the age of about 14 who doesn’t have a cognitive disability has a set way of managing their periods, every carer for a disabled girl or woman has one as well. If it presents as a problem, they should contact you rather than simply take her out of swimming. (It’s probably not a good idea to simply put a tampon in without the carer’s permission — she could be at risk of toxic shock syndrome.) Discussing it with a teacher, especially a male teacher, is really very unprofessional.
Good Lord, I assume the nurse can put administer seizure meds by suppository, what’s the difference between that and a tampon? What’s all the need for chat about it, unless you need to talk to the parent, which seem to be the only person NOT consulted.
Catching up after a chaotic period without time to read blogs.
Being in the water feels wonderful on a bloated and crampy female body. So keep fighting to keep her going in the pool, especially when she has her period.