Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, Day 6

Back to when she was six days old. It appears the nurse was wrong. We would be bringing her home. They have no idea what is wrong, other than her brain did not fully form properly, there is possibly an issue with her ribs (bogus), had no clue what the future would be like. I hide for a few hours, and cry. When I finished crying, I cried some more. Would it be better if she never did leave … if she died and this ended and we started again? What was going to happen? Would she be normal? I cried. I cursed God. I thought of Job. I did not deserve this. I needed a solution. My wife was in denial … that was not very helpful. I had no real support system at the moment, mom had her hands full with dad’s ICU … my wife was not in a place to help, I was her support … so I cried.