Period – not just for grammarians anymore
The appointment with the gynecologist went well, she did not feel there was a reason for a physical exam. I put my pants back on.
Pearlsky had close to a dozen years of pretty much spot on exactly 28-day cycles and four day periods. Then a few months ago that went out the window, hence the appointment. She had not had a period in a while but apparently had PMS. We discussed various things, including how to mitigate the PMS, how her meds could cause the irregularity, etc. I was asked about dates of her periods, and yes, I track them. But who knew the doctor would also want to know the length, how heavy, etc. I got a B- in data collection.
There’s an app for that.
Yes, that is what the doctor said. Actually, many apps for that. So I went to my only social media thing, where luckily I have about 92 female “friends” and two or three male, and I put out the word … anyone have a good app for tracking periods (not the grammatical kind)?
Some apps were too pink and flowery (hey, I’m a guy, ya know), a religious one was good, but just not exactly right, another wanted my BBT, and well, come on, that’s a bit personal, no? (For you guys out there – ok, Ken – that is basal body temperature, a way to calculate when you one she a woman is fertile).
I put a period tracker app on my phone, Clue. No clue why it is called “Clue” … maybe to give you a clue? It is from Germany, no way I am looking up what “clue” means in German.
Of course this morning Perlsky wakes up and I find she has her period! I grab my phone …
I open the app, hit the calendar icon and have six big buttons. “Period” … ok, should probably tap that. “Light,” “Medium,” “Heavy,” or “Spotting.” Ummmm … compared to what? My period? Do women compare? How? Do I ask my friends how many diapers they bleed through in a given time frame to figure this one out? I really did start to wonder how women determine this. Anyway, relative to the last few years, I chose “Light.” Then there is the button labeled “Pain.” “Cramps,” “Headache,” “Ovulation,” “Tender Breasts.” Ugh. No clue, I closed that window. Then I hit the button labeled “Sex.” Was not sure if it meant mine or hers … but then the choices were “Unprotected,” “Protected,” “High Sex Drive,” and “Withdrawal.” I love the euphemism “high sex drive” … not sure what it is for though. Multiple partners? Multiple O’s? Making out at 1000 foot elevation on Look-Out Point Drive? At this point I wanted to Withdraw … I just skipped the options for “Mood,” “Fluid,” and “Tags.”
I will track everyday there is blood. And note things like “torrent,” “trickle,” and “war zone.”
How will I explain the alert that will pop up in 14 days that says “Your high fertility window starts tomorrow”? Hope I am not at lunch with mom …
Do all dads do this for their 22 year-old daughters?
In response to your question, only the great fathers! Wow. Such a great sense of humor. Periods suck, that’s for sure!
Pearlsky is one lucky lady to have you to care for her. True definition of parental love.
lol you dork. Pearlsky is lucky girl and you’re a lucky guy.
Love that you talk about your Mom in a menstruation post. Shows me zactly where much of that sense of humor came from. It’s one of the best tools you have. Not THE best tool, but I probably shouldn’t talk about that.
Not sure what made me chuckle more, the thought of you going through the apps or watching Batman and Robin on Netflix (in the background).
I had to keep track of my periods on the calendar but an app would have been great. Women do keep track of how much they bleed because if they don’t, it leaks out of our pants. It’s very good info to have although with diapers, less critical. As for fathers who keep track of their daughter’s periods, only the good ones:)
Is it symbolic? The figure that adorns the head of your blog pushing the world uphill. I think it must be..for more often than not, your life does most closely resemble the fate of Sisyphus ..forever pushing a boulder uphill ..only to have it roll back down just as he almost has the boulder to the top of the hill.. You ” push your rock” with determination, love, and humor..
Yes, Catherine, it is symbolic. It is my life with Pearlsky.
I have a somewhat irreverent sense of humor , I am also politically incorrect,and totally lack what is commonly referred to as “filters” .
( why bother when everything you are thinking shows on your face) I tend to use humor to deal with things that would otherwise annoy, aggravate, or generally piss me off. So I ” get” why you say the things you do… Poking fun at the situation rather than getting angry at the “well meaning” ..and telling them what they really are…clueless idiots.
That pretty much sums it up!
Is it just me, or is it kind of creepy that the comments imply good fathers keep track of their 22 year old daughters periods.? Amazing how our baseline for normal shifts in this world. Maybe good caregivers might be a better statement that would seem less creepy to the general public… I do love that you took something not necessarily fun to deal with and gave us all a laugh. My Monday needed that.
It’s creepy that you took it out the relative situation. Surely, not every father tracks his 20 something year old daughters cycle. But he is the caregiver and he is doing for her what she cannot for herself. So how is thinking he is a good father for doing that creepy?
Shannon,
I have been a caregiver and completely understand where he’s coming from. I just find it humorous. When you take a step back and take a look at how we say things after working in this field, and the experiences we’ve had, I think it’s hard not to find some humor in it.
I still remember being at a state meeting and they asked what we thought the biggest barriers were to employment for the people we were caring for, and then asked us to find a job to circumvent that barrier. Dead serious I told them my persons biggest barrier was wearing pants in public and that they could be a stripper for a very perverse and select clientele. For some reason nobody else even cracked a smile, yet it’s what I dealt with day to day. If you were to compliment SingleDad on his period tracking skills in a busy shopping mall how do you think people would react around you? Does that thought make you smirk at least a little bit????
I want Oprah to compliment me on my superior period tracking skills.
You are an excellent father (and caregiver)! I’m sure you are learning way more about what females deal with regularly, than you ever wished to…
Just a comment/question – please do tell me if you and Pearlsky’s doctors have already considered/ruled out this idea: what about giving Pearlsky one of the oral contraceptives that would give her only 4 periods a year? In my experience (as a typical adult female with no other major medical issues) it has also made my periods lighter and less painful – overall much easier to deal with.
Forgive me for overstepping and for continuing all this female medical talk on your blog! 🙂
I tend to think you may be a new reader, I have discussed my feelings on this before. No, you are not overstepping! (such as here)
Yes, everything is under consideration and all is discussed with the doctors. Various contraceptives will do things, including stopping her period, but there are side effects to them all. “This population” does not move as much as we would like so blood clots and bone density are issues. Hormones have effects are various biological processes and many drugs for epilepsy have an effect on the period, even minimizing it.
There really is no reason for her to have a period, let’s face it, she won’t or certainly should not procreate, but that brings up the abhorrent. (Read what I wrote here. Go ahead, read …)
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Don't if you already got answers to your questions in regard to the above post, but here's a run down…
1) Women (by this I mean myself and my friends) do compare and they compare by how quickly it takes to soak through a tampon or pad, or in your daughter's case a diaper. You already have a basis of comparison given your past experience in how often you change out her blood catching stuff down there. From general consensus among my friends (we're not experts, but you asked what women talk about with this stuff…), a period generally starts off heavy the first few days and then gets lighter, but it's different for every woman and may be a stuff of hours for your daughter given her cycle is only 4 days, but that is only something she and you would know best.
2) High sex drive refers to an increased desire to be physically intimate, basically getting horny, and occurs prior to the start of the period, basically when a woman starts to ovulate.
You've probably already read multiple sites and headed to the doctor for advice, but these two sites do a pretty good job of summing up the basic symptoms a woman may feel each week:
http://www.bustle.com/articles/56989-how-your-menstrual-cycle-affects-you-each-week-or-what-to-expect-when-youre-not-expecting
http://www.womansday.com/health-fitness/womens-health/a5103/understanding-your-menstrual-cycle-109611/
They're not medical by any means and you should def. consult with the doctor about any questions and all that, but they're a good starting point if you were wondering about the general cycle. Then again every woman is different and may get some or none of the symptoms talked about before or on her period. Anyway, hope all is well, good luck with the app!
Thanks for reading and for some great information!
Hi Single Dad!
I'm Clue's designer and one of Clue's founders (also a guy). Thanks a lot for describing how you use Clue. A lot of people use Clue who don't have periods themselves, to track their partner's or children's cycle. We will be adding some features to make this easier.
FYI, you only need to track what is helpful for you or during doctor visits, so just skip whatever doesn't make sense. Most important to doctors (and you!) are bleeding patterns (heavy, medium, light) and also "spotting", which is non-period bleeding, such as if she bleeds at a point in her cycle that's unexpected. Other than that, you may want to track what type of symptoms she has just before her period. Very common are cramps, headaches and bloating.
Clue's newest version allows basic sleep and exercise tracking, which can influence her cycle.
If you have ideas on how Clue could do a better job of supporting you in helping track your daughter's cycle, please drop us a line. We're happy to help. Please send any suggestions or questions you have using Clue's support feature.
Happy tracking!
With <3 from Berlin,
.Mike
It is great … but when a message that says "Good time for a breast check" shows up on my phone and watch during a business meeting … well … 🙂
Ha! Yeah, that's a bit awkward.
The text and timing for the reminders can be customized to whatever you'd like. That may be particularly useful for you. They could be set to always happen outside of business hours, and the text to say something a bit less explicit 🙂
SD…your sense of humor ? Brings a smile to my face!