Blasphemy “Я” Us
There’s this religion where this is a very special time of year. It is actually quite reflective and somber. You see, the deal is you are supposed to make amends with those you have wronged. The idea is to ask for forgiveness where it is needed, and to offer it when it is requested. That’s the easy part. Once you have made amends with those in your life, you are then able to ask your god for forgiveness. This is based on the premise of “how dare you ask God for forgiveness if you have not even asked those around you.”
So, think about it. I ask you for forgiveness. You ask me for forgiveness. Then I go ask this god for forgiveness. And it is done. But something is missing here. Fairness?
There were times, not many, but times my parents apologized to me. Now that’s a big deal. I would never dare ask them to, but I remember times they did. God has yet to. Is She not the ultimate parent?
When the hell is God going to explain some stuff to me, to us? And, maybe throw in an apology if not a fix?
I have some spare bushes around the house, how about you do that burning but not consuming thing and talk to my daughter? Hell, use the hydrangea and you can consume that thing for all I care. Come on, tell her you messed up and you’re sorry. And fix her while you’re at it. And Chris. And Joe, too. And don’t forget SoCal Sophie and our friend in the UK.
And by the way, what the hell is up with stroking out six year old girls? How is it that I, a lone little speck on the earth, know of two? What the hell were You thinking when you did that to Sophie and Rachelli? Yeah, you did it to my dad, but at least he was a football star and fighter / bomber pilot. But two six year old girls? I’d expect that from Elijah’s Ba’al or some lesser God. Pick on someone a bit bigger, no? I thought you got your kicks playing skee ball on the Jersey shore. Stroking out six year old girls for God’s sake! WTF?
And how about an apology for this I’m-going-to-mess-up-your-kid-and-not-tell-you-what-I-did crap? Ran out of levels of hell and wanted to add one on earth? We will talk about the undiagnosed later, but come on, cut some of us a break, will ya? Yeah, my kids were finally diagnosed and then voilà! a diagnosis with no history. Thanks, Pal.
Yes, I am truly sorry for the sins against man that I committed this year. Yes, I forgive those who sinned against me and truly want forgiveness. Yes, I am sorry for the sins against You.
Now it’s your turn, oh holy one, blessed be He, father of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob, and Mohammad, and Buddha, and Jesus and the Dalai Lama, great, mighty and exhalted.
And what’s up with Rush Limbaugh? An apology for that one, too, no?
So, do I really think that God micromanges to the point that S/He reads MY blog? Hell no (or at least at this point I hope not …). But then, is He gonna listen to all those poor shnooks that are going to ask for forgiveness in a few days? If so, then maybe He IS watching my RSS feed.
So, if there is a God AND S/he does read blogs AND you hear of a case of spontaneous human combustion this week AND I don’t blog for a few days, come over to the house and check on my daughter, will ya? She should be the one walking and talking at that point.
If God exists and does not read blogs, I’m cool.
And if God doesn’t exist? In the words of the inimitable Emily Litella, “Never mind.”
Just a little ‘searching for God’ story, hope it is appropriate, hope it’s not too long.
I was brought up by a socialist father who believed religion was ‘the opiate of the masses’. After Oscar’s (then 2 1/2yrs) diagnosis of and fight to survive cancer (within hours of being diagnosed he was put on morphine it was such an aggressive tumour, within days his abdomen was so swollen you couldn’t beleive skin could stretch so tight he had chest drains inserted and while still in PICU chemo was started), after he suffered massive brain damage post operatively, after more chemotherapy that gave him liver disease and mucositis and put him in PICU again,when 5 months after his brain injury and just recovering from the chemo he started fitting -big fits every day-, after his dad my partner had a break down and lost his newly started business (under great pressure to support me during O’s 10 mnth stay in hospital and carry on his business) after we split up and he went back to his parents in Portugal……..after friends abandoned me as soon as we left hospital, after family (apart from aging dad) simply did not show….after my whole world had crashed….I decided to go looking for God.(not suprisingly)
I traveled on my own with Oscar to Brazil to see a world renowned faith healer, I sought out healers at home in the UK one of whom told me she thought Oscar had been my husband in a past life who had abused me and now was grateful I was looking after him so well..!!I contacted pyschics one of whom told me that in this life I was meant to experience abandonment..!!Travelled the length of the country(ok it is only the UK) to see a shamanic healer who inspite of what he promised on his website, could tell me nothing. By this stage I was wanting to find any ‘proof’ that ‘other dimensions’ to life existed – you know have a pyschic tell me something – anything- they couldn’t possibly have known about me. I did eventually get this in a very small way. I sent my photo to a pyschic who wrote me a letter. Much of what she said was very general but she said something very specific that she could not possibly have known. She talked of LITMUS PAPER(for some reason they are showing me Litmus paper).Now not having any knowledge of litmus paper (not having studied sciences after 13yrs) until Oscar got ill AND the next day an unexpected delivery of the stuff to my address….it may be small but it still seems significant. Didn’t answer any of my bigger questions though.
After about 2-3 years I gradually let my obssession with finding God go. I hadn’t found him but I was more open to the possibility that he existed in some form or other than I had been before. Maybe I had been looking in the wrong place…maybe I needed to look inside myself….
Almost 7 years later..I’m still looking…maybe I just keep missing all the signs? I’m not as desperate as I was in those first years and I guess it is more like a hobby these days.
You know, I have a Master’s degree in Religious Studies…I looked for God under scholarships!! I LOVE this post (OK< so I like all your posts). God bless you Lynn…whatever that means…! When we get "on the other side" let's meet for coffee and plan our revenge, shall we?
Lynn: You are always welcome on the site as are your comments. I am not looking for god, sometimes I just need to vent at someone. Good luck in your hobby … keep us informed!
Claire: I don’t mention it, but I own a small coffee company. I’ll bring the java …
Having the great privilege of being your friend, I recognize how your two children radically and irrevocably changed your life from a course that was so on track for greatness in typical standards. Even I wonder why God would throw you two kids afflicted when each had only a twenty-five percent chance of being created with their disorder.
You are a big person in mind, heart, and soul, and I have no doubt there is a reason. But I feel for you and agree with you and wonder with you. Having the honor of having met your children, I can only say that they have brought out the best in you. You know this. But I feel compelled to say it anyway.
Your post is important especially this time of year as it promotes reflection in us all.
Have a sweet and happy new year.
I’d love to meet you for coffee Claire….so let’s make it a date. Hopefully by the time we get there our lives will be so blissful we’ll forget about revenge…..
Hi! You found my old blog today and I just wanted to let you know that I didn’t stop blogging–I just left the address to avoid a few particular unwanted viewers I couldn’t shake. Thanks for finding me.:)
When you read about what God permitted to happen to His own Son here on earth, it can give you a better idea as to how much he intervenes in suffering. And that’s a much mellower God after his fatherhood. He was one tough force in the Old Testament.
The power of faith shows in those who believe. I have seen folks who have suffered terribly, this faith has given them comfort in a way that nothing else has done. I wish I had that faith as it is a powerful gift to be able to provide comfort at the darkest hours.
Lindsey: Welcome! I will respond to some of your other comments on the blog.
Cath: His Son was welcomed on earth by wise men from the east carrying gold, frankincense and myrrh. My children were welcomed by wise men and women from the neonatal intensive care unit carrying medicines and bad news. My question is why did He (and whatever or whoever’s “He” He is) start these children out suffering. His Son, it can be argued, suffered much later at the hands of man. My children started life that way. Thanks for commenting, I appreciate what you are saying.
NOTE: Not a religous blog and we won’t go there!