I have all sorts of reasons and excuses for not posting lately, but as I tell people all the time, never give a reason for something. So I ain’t telling you why. Okay, hints. Several things are going on with Pearlsky that I am having trouble getting my head around and they are easier to ignore. Also, life in general has gotten in the way. I believe I am back on track now. A sincere thank you to those who have been writing or commenting to see if I am okay. Yeah, I am. As okay as okay gets.
I did have a three day vacation of sorts, the first one in many years. I even got kissed! Yes, and I have proof! (go ahead, look, no joke). I think I’m in love … and she wants to have my baby!
And now for something completely different …
I have some questions about putting a kid like ours into a residential facility.
- Is it right?
- Does it short change the kid?
- If after she is in a residence, what if I sit home doing nothing? Is that right? Or what if I then have the time to bring about world peace and proceed to? Does that make it right?
- Is it not true that it does not matter what I do with the time it would give me, that should not be a determinant as to whether or not a residence is right for the kid?
- Would Pearlsky or a child like Chris even know the difference? Does that matter?
- To what degree does the parent give up on all hopes and dreams that, let’s face it, are not possible because of having a child like this at home?
- How do you balance said needs, hopes and dreams against the complete unknown of the child’s quality of life, needs, wants, desires?
- If your kid looks happy at the facility, is that good enough to justify your “abandoning” him or her to said care? Or have you saved your kid and yourself?
- Could a residence ever be as good as a home? That’s easy, yes. There are some real pukes as parents out there. But what about “us”? But this gets back to priorities. As in whose?
- What if there are “normal” siblings? I have nothing here, no clue what a normal kid is …
No, not considering putting Pearlsky in a residence. David, my son is in one, and his birthday is next week, and the intense pain of visiting him is coming to me just thinking about it. These questions come out of a recent conversation. They haunt me.
Oh, and I have given up on AFO‘s and braces, and other stuff like that. But that’s a post I am avoiding. And I am avoiding telling you about the Freedom of Information Act thingy I just submitted to the Department of Public Health.
I think I need to go back for another kiss.