Just color me heathen …
I know most of you think I am some sort of heathen, questioning the concept of god, etc. Well, maybe.
Claire has some posts up about some guy who has these theories about filicide and stuff which mainly I don’t agree with. But that is not what I want to talk about here. What really got me was this comment … in part …
But the Bible says to “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
When you know that there is Someone who loves you and who actually has the power to help you with the daily burdens of caring for a disabled child, you have peace, and hope. But when it’s all up to you–it is totally overwhelming.
I need help understanding some people. Let’s say you are part of one of the “mainstream” religions, a monotheistic one. You believe in one god … maybe named Allah, Y-H-V-H, Shangdi, ੴ, Jesus Christ (yeah, I know, part of the trinity, but you get the idea), Baal, and others. OK, so, we all agree, there is one god (for the sake of this argument).
So, now go back to when you had a kid. Or a bit before. Or when she was six. There was some point in time where, bang!, your kid got messed up. A gene switched, a blood vessel blew, an enzyme eliminated, a brain mis-wired, a touch too little oxygen, something. And your god? Where was s/he? To quote my favorite piece of biblical sarcasm …
And it came to pass at noon, that Elijah mocked them, and said: ‘Cry aloud; for he is a god; either he is musing, or he is gone aside, or he is in a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth, and must be awaked. ~1 Kings Chapter 18 verse 27 (“gone aside” = bible-speak for tinkling)
So, you have one god, and S/He was either not on the ball when your kid got messed up, or God forbid (!), S/He actively messed up your kid. You pick, mean or incompetent. Now, this entire theory hinges on the fact that your god micromanages the world.
Now we get to the quote up above, and all the comments people make. “God only puts on your plate what you can handle” for instance, again, assumes micromanagement, assumes that some god actually puts shit on my plate. “Thanks,” God. “God will help my child.” “All you need to do is pray.” “… let your requests be made known to God …” “… there is Someone who loves you …”
What the f–k? If all I need to do is pray, that assumes that I am praying to someone / something that will hear my prayer (let’s assume it means your god). Well, if S/He hears my prayer, where the hell was S/He when my kid was being messed up? Or am I praying, and being heard by the same deity that did said messing? “… there is Someone who loves you …” Oh yeah? Giving me Pearlsky as she was is love? Does this “Someone” also love Pearlsky? “Hey Pearlsky, I love you, so I’m going to mess up your DNA, mess up your speech, movements, mind, but don’t worry, I love you.” No, I think “someone” was taking a leak and shit just happened.
If you believe that your god can or will help you now, then you believe in a god who micromanages. If micromanaging, s/he messed up your kid, or could have prevented it. Period.
So, now you ask this deity for help? Why on earth would you do that? I don’t get it, really. To give you (or your kid) that help is to acknowledge messing up in the first place. Not too godlike, eh? “How was the play, Mrs. Job?”
Personally, I go for a polytheistic religion. I want one where there is a god of messed up kids, and a god of healed kids. You see, in this case, you have someone to pray to. Makes sense. Introducing SingleDadism, a religion with two gods, Ifuk, the god of messing up innocent offspring, and Sapphire, the gorgeous goddess of healing disabled kids (hey, it’s my religion and she’s gonna be a babe. You will read my bible for the pictures …)
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray that Sapphire ain’t a creep
If tonight She doesn’t pee
I pray she heals my dear Pearlsky
That sort of talk (the comment to which you allude) is never “helpful,” especially given our circumstances —
Here’s a song I’ve written for the likes of that kind of talk:
Treacle, treacle little star
How I wonder who you are
Up above the world so bright
Like a diamond in the night
Treacle, treacle little star
How I wonder what you are.
We actually had a nurse that wrote to us: “God wasn’t looking when Sophie had her stroke, but now, He knows she’s there and He will heal her!” Holy cow…hey…maybe we would have better chances with a Holy Cow.
Claire, would that be a golden calf or red heifer?
Or you could just go with the legendary words of one of the greatest comedians of all time:
When it comes to bullshit, I mean big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in AWE of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims…religion.
No contest.
No contest.
Religion.
Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told.
Think about it.
Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time!
But He loves you.
He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money!
He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, but somehow?
Just can’t handle money!
Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more.
Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!
-George Carlin
George is one of my favorites … as is Emo Philips, here in part:
All I will say is that I have often had to suppress the urge to slap anyone who cheerfully tells me that God only gives me what I can handle. Funny, I only hear it from childless people or those whose children are healthy and “normal.” I’d like to hear their tune change after going through years of PT, OT, EEG’s, MRI’s, neurologist appointments, orthotist appointments, worry and heartache.
If prayer truly could heal all, my son would be an olympic athlete by now.
My son had Muconeum Aspiration Syndrome at birth, I.E. he inhaled his poop in the womb.
He was born in the afternoon, flown to Sydney in the evening, and a doctor (who had started his shift early that morning) worked on him all night to stabilise his blood pressure, and other important things (breathing, heartbeat, just the basics). My son lived through the night, though it was a very close thing.
When we finally got out of the NICU and came home to my country town, people kept telling me how blessed Toby was, how they’re prayers had been answered… blah blah blah.
No one acknowledged the fantastic doctor, or the other docs and nurses who saved my kids life.
I feel like people are somehow claiming credit for helping to save him. They did nothing. They said or thought “please God help this kid pull through”.
It always pisses me off.
I forgot to say, the experience has pretty much confirmed my lack of religion for me.
It’s not that I blame God for hurting him, or credit Him for fixing him. It’s that the whole time I was crying my eyes out (freaking hormones) and watching my baby struggle for life, I never prayed.
Not one prayer. I didn’t even notice until I got home and kept hearing about everyone else’s praying.
I dont need a god in my life. I have my kid and me.