Mean people suck
I have to say that I don’t understand “mean.” As a kid I was teased a bit (and no, I ain’t sharing why), bullied a bit (not as bad as others), and came all to close to being abused by a neighbor (stopped at the last minute by his mom, actually, and I was too young to realize what was going on). I don’t really understand these situations, nor why people tease the disabled. It is just foreign to me. Is it fun to call someone a name? To be derogatory to someone on purpose? I really don’t get it.
By now, you probably know this story …
Dad wires up autistic son, 10, to expose ‘bullying’ by teaching staff
A father discovered staff at a school in New Jersey were “bullying” and using offensive language toward his 10-year-old autistic son after he fitted his child with a wire.
Stuart Chaifetz posted extracts of the recording on YouTube on April 20. He said the audio revealed staff members at Horace Mann Elementary School in Cherry Hill calling his son Akian a “bastard” and talking about vomiting that morning due to a hangover. …
Many of you sent me the story and I appreciate that. Yes, I have thought of wiring Pearlsky with a voice recorder when she goes to school, but in this state it is illegal, wiretapping actually, unless all parties know they are being recorded. I have considered putting a cell phone in her back and just listening, but I have not.
But why would teachers and aides in a special needs environment (especially there, but anywhere actually) say these things?
Psychologically many people put others down to, in effect, boost themselves up. But let’s face it, putting down the disabled is, or should be, in the putter-downer’s mind, lowering someone who is de facto already “lower” than you.
Yes, I know, kids are mean. I sort of get that. But teachers and aides? While working?
I just don’t get it. Never did. I may hate idiots, but mean people suck.
Their own frustration taken out on someone else who won’t tell them to shove off. A ‘weakness of character’ as it used to be called.
Or maybe, plain and simple, they’re just abusive jerks.
I watched the whole thing. So profoundly depressing and unsettling — I don’t know what to say. Like you, I just don’t get it.
How could it be illegal to monitor your own child’s environment, especially when she can’t communicate with you? That feels wrong…
That is horrible, I have had some great teachers, so I know not all of them are like this, but I don’t know why some people are even teachers when they can’t seem to rise above childish behavior or in some cases don’t even seem to be able to tolerate children.
What scares me more than anything is to see a member of my son’s own family talk to Bennett in a disrespectful or demeaning way. At least by my standards. I have to remember that most of the time these are ‘just kids’, but I have come to realize that many kids today, including my own so-called typical kid, are forming a generation that is very, very self-centered.
Needless to say, this story really resonated with me. I am homeschooling for safety’s sake rather than principle, but my son has been in some placements in the past that roused apprehension for me and was recommended for one that had metaphorical red flares going up. The guy has some additional recordings and detail on his website (referenced on the YT video) that makes it even more disturbing. At best, those “professionals” were taking advantage of their non-verbal students to have a six hour coffee break. They were discussing parents in derogatory terms and getting their stories together for IEPs in front of the class–simply because they could. If they had confined this stuff to the actual lounge, noone would have known any of it-though some of it (IEP and parent bashing) would have still been pretty slimy. At worst, they were getting pleasure out of goading vulnerable children and letting the children take the fall for their own meaness and incompetence. It is really sickening; I hate to have my nightmares confirmed by situations like this.
Im a sub teacher and I have been in a ton of SPED classes, the teachers are usually ok but the aides are often awful. I’ve actually reported several to their teachers, principals and a times ( for classes I’ve been in many times) to parents. At least in my district aides are low paid (11 an hour- a solid 4 or 5 dollars less than other district s close by), barely qualified (don’t even have to have an AA to be an aide) and unionized. It disgusts me.
Thank God in my daughters experience she is 13 we have had Wonderful teachers and aides (with the exception of 1 clueless human posing as a teacher…in a class that does not eat solid foods she thought a field trip to a pizza place was a great idea among other horrid events). In our experience it has been the therapist as well as administration that sucks. I have cut people out of our lives that I feel we’re desrespectful in some manner to my daughter….family friends. She suffers enough she need not suffer their ignorance! My girl is non verbal however she understands everything, so when someone is taking down to her or about her I plain out tell her within their ear shot that that person is an idiot! She loves that!
That nasty people are also teachers and aides should be no surprise. They are everywhere. A lot of people do not like to work hard. In fact, they like to work as little as possible. That disabled kids along with any things out of the routine cause more work, causes resentment. Many people are also plain mean. That is all that one can say about them.. They torture kittens and puppies, hurt people, get a joy out of making someone feel bad. It is a human trait that we must all watch because too many times, it gets out of control.
These types of comments are not just directed to kid who need extra work or classified as disabled. Talk to any parent of “normal” kids and you are likely to get an earful about mean teachers, aides and others that are supposed to be supporting, teaching and nurturing them. That those who are even more helpless should also get that kind of mistreatment is appalling, as one would think there would be the opposite effect.
I interviewed a woman the other night for a caregiving position. I was kneeling next to Daniel, explaining that he can hold his cup, but tries to get me to do it for him. She then goes, “I took care of a girl whose father catered to her. I just ignored her screaming. I washed the dishes, sang to myself, and thought ‘I’m not gonna jump like your father does’. I just let her yell.”
I had just watched the video you’re talking about, and I immediately thought of the aide saying, “Go ahead and scream because guess what. You’re gonna get nothing until your mouth is shut.”
I told the lady that I cater to Daniel and that when he cries or yells, it’s for a reason. He needs something.
I’m still stunned that she thought it was an admirable character trait to ignore a non-verbal child’s cries. I’m glad she let the cat out of the bag, though, so there’d be no question in my mind about not hiring her.
In upscale dog and cat boarding hotels there are cameras and communication systems so that the doting absent pet owners can see, hear and speak to their animals while on vacation. In states where a hidden recorder is illegal, maybe electronic monitoring of all classrooms, hallways, etc for kids who can’t defend themselves should be an option if parents have doubts or concerns. Yes, it’s very creepy and unappealing. Not the world I want to live in. But as was pointed out above, crass, crude, nasty people are a dime a dozen… and sometimes cameras don’t stop them, of course. I remember seeing a 60 Minutes expose many years ago in which a frail elderly man in a nursing home was seen shaking and cringing in bed, trying to avoid the slaps of a sadistic nursing aide. This was probably at least 20 years ago, but the horror of the image has not faded—one wanted to rush to defend that poor dear old man.
Something exactly like that was shown on Panorama (a British TV documentary) less than a week ago. The bug was installed by the lady’s daughter in a disguised alarm clock, and it recorded “carers” treating her roughly and, in one case, hitting her. It’s the second time in less than a year that “care” staff have been recorded abusing people in a “home” (the first was in a secure home for people with intellectual disabilities, and the abuse amounted to outright torture).
I wish it had occurred to me to hide cameras when I was working in group homes. I reported other staff to the administration and the state, over and over, but because I lacked proof (because hand shaped bruises and rashes from being left in a puddle of urine overnight and worsening contractures from not using standers correctly and fingernail marks apparently are not “proof”) nothing was ever done.
So who originally said “Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely”? They do it because they can. And speaking of power and corruption, any news on the nurse front?
I posted in February, that I removed EM from the public school system last September, after 2 years in ESE Pre-K, due to safety concerns.
He has made tremendous academic progress at his small, special needs private school. Very important, I have Peace of Mind regarding his safety, knowing that there are video cameras in every classroom and all common areas. All staff are aware of the monitoring equipment in the school director’s office, and know that the system is fully functional and
continually monitored.
Although EM has some speech, it is limited to 1 or 2 word phrases; there is no way at his present level, that he could ever describe an event that occurred at school. Video surveillance is an integral component of protecting our kids at school. There is no other way to have an unbiased system of checks and balances in self-contained classrooms for minimally/non-verbal kids.
We have an agreement with the school district, through a state program, where we relieve the district of any obligation to provide a FAPE for EM, in exchange for them paying about 2/3s tuition at his private school.