Some days, just call me Ray Milland …
Some weekends are made to be forgotten, even if it takes major drugs or drinking … Throw in the Friday and the Monday, and well, there may or may not be a god, but there is a hell.
|The great Ray Milland starred in “Lost Weekend”|
To see the pièce de résistance, watch this clip from the movie.
You know how Friday was awful. An email of the worst kind, customers who work hard to be idiots, lunch with the past, then welts. WELTS! Yes, welts on Pearlsky’s arms. More on that shortly.
Saturday. Just bizarre and not fun. Thinking about stuff too much, emails, welts, etc. I went to a close friend’s graduation, and, well, it did not go well from a family point of view. Sometimes the six year old comes out in all of us, I guess.
Then there was Sunday. No one in town, all of our friends gone at the same time. So, what is there to do? Think about emails and welts. And then, go for a walk. Yes, Pearlsky and I hit the town. We run into a neighbor, a school nurse if you will (but not Pearlsky’s). What is the first thing she says?
What’s with that welt?
And I get, well, not grilled, but questioned. Have I told you of my love for school nurses?
Monday morning comes along. Still no response from the teacher nor aide. We have a scheduled doctor appointment … we go. My back did not appreciate the two person lift to and from the exam table, I am using ice and lots of Advil today.
I’ll give you five guesses as to what the doctor asked …
What’s with the welts?
So, here is my email to the teacher, and her response.
The barriers that Pearlsky’s putting her hands in her mouth are nothing compared to the problems that these welts have already caused me. What you need to understand is that in the past I have been accused of neglect of Pearlsky, and needed to respond, and also of abuse of Pearlsky, to which I needed to respond. As a matter of fact, the former was to mandated reporters in the school district. As an outcome of several instances of bizarre and misguided accusations, Pearlsky is seen regularly by several physicians and, as luck would have it, today’s doctor’s appointment was an outgrowth of that.
I was quizzed by a mandated reporter this weekend who happened to see the welts and by one of Pearlsky’s physician’s today. I was spoken to for about ten minutes about restraints (and the elbow things you use are medically considered restraints), I was told how they can only be used by a doctor’s orders, and how they should not be used.
This is not just a matter of a kid coming home with a bruise, this is Pearlsky coming home with welts on both arms and my needing to account to the hospital as to why. That is why I emailed on Friday needing an explanation.
Both her mother and I have asked for an explanation in writing, that is not a light request. I need to account for her injury. This is not something that can be taken lightly, because neither the school district nor the hospital has taken things lightly.
To which I receive:
Throughout the past few years of school we have been using elbow braces with Pearlsky in order to deter her from putting her hands in her mouth. When wearing the elbow braces she continues to have full range of motion; she is still able to put her hands in her mouth, but there is slight tension, making a little bit difficult. This has been very successful, and has allowed her to access her environment without being as distracted by sucking or chewing on her hands. This has not been considered a restraint since she has the full range of motion and use of her hands. A restraint is “any device that limits or restricts freedom of movement”. Pearlsky’s movement is neither limited nor restricted when wearing the braces.
The welts on Pearlsky’s arms were a result of putting the braces on backwards by accident. When the braces were on backwards, her arm rubbed against it the wrong way. This was discovered by a teacher in the classroom after removing them. I want to reiterate, that this was the first time that this has happened, and it was a pure mistake.
If you feel that we should stop using the braces we will stop. I would love to find a way for Pearlsky to get the sensory feedback to her hands and/or mouth without chewing on her hands. Please let me know if you or any of her doctors have any suggestions.
So, call me Ray Milland. But pick your movie …
I would much rather feel like Roosevelt “Rosey” Grier, seen in that movie with Ray Milland. He is an American actor, singer, Christian minister, former professional American football player, Kennedy bodyguard who nailed Sirhan Sirhan to the ground, author of Rosey Grier’s Needlepoint for Men (yes, a real book on needlepoint), and an all around good guy.
But noooooo, I get to be Ray Milland.
Someone pass the bottle please …
Are the restraints truly used regularly and have been used regularly for Pearlsky? Are you ok with those restraints? Perhaps you should bring those restraints to the doctor who examined Pearlsky and ask if those are appropriate when used correctly. Send them along with the school’s explanation of those welts so that it is in the doctor’s records in case he just remembers the welts in the future in relation to some other issue and does not remember the source. Ask the doctor if he can suggest something else to restrain Pearlsky.
I don’t know how what kind of damage Pearlsky causes to herself when she puts her hands in her mouth. That has to be weighed against the dangers of the restraint.
I am ever so sorry that this happened to Pearsky. Any time ANY child is injured at school, on the bus, anywhere under supervision, those supervising owe the parents an explanation. Most parents would have caused a big stink about those welts on their kids, and a meeting of would be held over them. I can guarantee you that this would happen if it were my child.
Sorry I did not read Friday’s post early enough to lend support and express my outrage, too.
You didn’t mention a phone call to Alan. Guess you shouldn’t. Not to make light, but the email from the school is the answer you have if not very satisfying.
The rest of it just has to do with you being an aging actor.
Definitely send a copy of the school’s email (a hard copy) to the hospital so it can be placed in Pearlsky’s file ASAP.
I think it would also be appropriate for the specific person who put the braces on backward to write a note of apology, and for a copy of THAT letter to be placed in the hospital file as well.
Uch, what a headache. I feel so bad for you!
Your life blows me away. Someone should make a movie about it for real.
At least they copped to the mistake. Some people would go the cover-up route. But I agree with Sarah. An apology letter is in order, especially considering the somewhat ‘legalese’ tone of their response.
I don’t get it. The email says a restraint is there is “any device that limits or restricts freedom of movement.” The braces create a “slight tension, making [moving her hands] a little bit difficult [to move].” In other words, limits her freedom of movement. But then it claims that “Pearlsky’s movement is neither limited nor restricted when wearing the braces.” What is the POINT of the braces then, if not restricting her from putting her hands in her mouth?
I mean, I’m not even getting into whether or not they’re necessary. I’m saying they should be honest about what they are: restraints, to keep Pearlsky from moving.
Obviously they are allowing untrained individuals to put them on her, since this person put them on BACKWARDS. That’s another red flag right there.
So sorry you have to go through this crazy hell. Hope Pearlsky heals soon!
Boy- is this what we have to look forward to for Marissa’s schooling in the fall?
Having not seen what Pearlsky was subjected to, I am imagining these devices to be similar to some I have used with students in the past. However, they were never used in an attempt to stop them from engaging in a behavior, as that would be considered restraint. And since they do limit mobility, they are only used for 10-20 minutes at a time if the student tolerates them. They were used under the supervision of either a doctor or an occupational therapist whose goal it was to increase range of motion by flexing the arm outwards. The idea is that with people who have very high muscle tone, the brace will actually help relax the muscles. Often botox injections are used in conjunction with this. However, I have never seen much success as most of them I’ve tried, even when applied properly, caused red marks. This whole hands in the mouth thing is beyond ridiculous.