“Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.” ~Lamartine

I had to go see my son today. Yes, I like to go see him, this time there was a meeting and his mom is out of the country, so I went. It is the first time I have driven for more than 30 minutes since my disc rupture. I was good the first 90 minutes … the last 30 were tough. Driving home hurt the entire way.

I am not going to write much, this one hurts too much. I did not want him to leave during the divorce, but logistically he could not stay, and it was right for him to go with my wife. They moved a couple of blocks away. Then his mom had her “friend” move in (my current husband-in-law), he moved in with his cat (Pearlsky is severely allergic), and then he convinced her to move across town. Then she could not deal alone (he would not go near my son), and now my son is 75 miles (120 km) away.

I can’t get there as often as I want (well, that would be daily). I have not been able to since my disc rupture.

He does not know who I am.

So, I am talking to his mother …

I am sure he does not know me anymore.

No, don’t think that, you don’t know.

Yeah, I do.

I feel that way about Pearlsky.

Dare I say she lives 1.9 miles (3 km) from Pearlsky, I live 75 miles (120 km) from my son? She has become a wonderful mother to our son, I must give her that.

And no, I don’t cry when I get into the privacy of my car as I leave him. Nope. Never. Real men bloggers don’t cry.

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