The dog ate my homework

How often Do you ever use your kid as an excuse?

Pearlsky is in a group at the summer “camp” at the high school that consists of about a dozen kids, of which Pearlsky is the “most involved” (how proud am I?). On Wednesdays they go on a field trip, the goal was to use one big bus. That is why the other day we had the nightmare of a test run for the wheelchair on said bus.

Turns out Pearlsky’s aide has convinced the district that Pearlsky, the aide, and the nurse should go in a separate van, the same one Pearlsky takes to and from home and school. You see, that is a small, two wheelchair van, that is air conditioned, unlike the big yellow bus. How did she convince them? Some story about Pearlsky needing to get back earlier to be changed or something. How do I know? The transportation coordinator is a good friend.

Yes, it is better for Pearlsky in some ways. But the reason for the switch? A total lie. Pearlsky was used as an excuse so the aide could be more comfortable. She lied about Pearlsky AND used her as an excuse.

Something I have never ever done. Nope. I never got out of a family thing because I could not get Pearlsky there. Never missed a meeting because of a nanny problem. Never missed a deadline because I was up all night with Pearlsky. 😉

A dear friend of mine is working on her Master’s degree (for a while now …) and has an exam to take that is based on a gazillion books. A year ago her six year old daughter had a stroke. Just so happens she just wrote an email to her professor apropos this discussion, albeit one that won’t be sent …

Dear Professor,

My kid had a stroke a year ago. Ergo I have been a wreck for about a year.  … So let me get right to the point. I’ll sit and pretend to think, but please just pass me regardless of what I write. Just think; if I graduate, you won’t have to deal with me anymore, except when I email you friendly little questions about various history matters. So passing me is win-win. On the other hand, if you fail me, I might die. I have done (almost) no studying whatsoever, but could YOU study if your kid had a stroke? Come on, a stroke. You can’t even imagine, can you? Didn’t think so. So, do we have an understanding? Thanks so much.

Is there something wrong with using your kid’s disability as an excuse? A real excuse or a phony one? Do we all do it? Even if the excuse at the moment is not true, are our lives difficult enough that we deserve the break?

In all honesty, I rarely do it. I am more likely to use “her” as a reason to not make a commitment, and that is legitimate. Much less likely to use her as a reason for my own failing.

Is this the same as using “the cripple card”? Getting the entire family to the front of the line because of your kid when you know that waiting in the line would be fine? Registering your van in your kid’s name since your state does not charge sales tax if the car is registered to a handicapped person?

(See the Poll of The Day on the right …)

All I know is that it really burns my butt that her aide used her as an excuse. I’m not going to do anything about it, but something about it is wrong.


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