Never give a gun to ducks. Ever.

I have always told my employees, on their first day of work, “If you need an afternoon off, do not tell me why.”

I realize that sounds strange, but then I explain that I really don’t want to know if getting your car or body waxed is more important than getting your work done.

Kliban ... pure genius

We all have our priorities and I believe that we should set them for ourselves. As soon as you give a reason for doing something, others will put their own values on it and judge you. If you really believe that getting your dog wormed is more important than preparing for my meeting at work, by all means worm your dog. Just don’t tell me, because although I may give you the time off, I will think less of you. If you do not get your work done, then I don’t care why you took the day off, you will lose your job nonetheless.

I never sent back the permission slip for Pearlsky to go to some big event at city hall plaza. I did not know exactly when it was, but did not want her to go. Yes, I had my reasons.

This morning, while she was getting on the bus, the nurse said something about the field trip. I asked when it was, and the aide said “today.”

Oh, well I never sent back the permission form since I do not want her to go.

The aide was silent, and obviously not happy. It was some fun event thing. Neither the nurse nor aide said another word. The teacher called about an hour later …

Pearlsky can still go if you send an email giving permission.

Then I guess I will not be sending an email.

Silence. Seriously, a long pause. I then asked if there was anything else, and she said, “no.”

The aide just glared when the bus pulled up at the end of the day. I asked how Pearlsky did today, since she has been having some seizure stuff the last few days. The aide just grumbled (really) something about her being fine since “we were stuck alone in the classroom all day.”

I had my reasons, and amazingly enough, they were scared (or something) to ask. I know, I’m such a dickhead.

Speaking of which, this video is pretty funny… in a pathetic sort of way …