“I’d be safe and warm / if I was in L.A.” ~California Dreaming (The Mamas and The Papas)

This lack of communication thing is killing me. And the worst are the times when I want to talk with her, and there is no answer, no response. Am I being ignored? Does she knowingly not respond? Does she not hear that I want her attention? Whatever the reason, the appearance of being ignored or even avoided makes me not want to, afraid to, initiate communication. But the alternative is the inevitable silence, she does not initiate. Hmmm, how do you spell s-t-a-l-e-m-a-t-e?

Pearlsky has been home over a week now, but luckily the school summer program starts tomorrow. While she was home, the nanny started at about 2:00 PM everyday, so I stayed home until then. As you know, I adore Pearlsky, but this is a tough job. Being with her 20 hours of everyday is not easy, especially without the communication. We did practice our stick-out-your-tongue-on-request thing, to good success, not 100% yet, but beyond that, it was mostly watching television. There was some book reading. We went on some long walks, actually lots of them, and that was at least healthy for us. But it was quiet. Maddingly so.

The French don’t always get it right, but Voltaire darn well did …

If you wish to converse with me, define your terms.

But the key there is “If you wish …”


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