Random stuff with a prize at the end!!! And YOU can win!!!
The school summer camp was supposed to go so much smoother this year. An hour into the first day, I get a phone call. Remember, the lead teacher from the regular school year is part of the program as is the trained one-on-one nurse for Pearlsky (a cute 25 year old nurse, mind you, but alas, a school nurse).
What is the combination to the lock on Pearlsky’s backpack?
What does she eat?
Same camp as last summer. Her regular teacher and some aides are in the group. The lock has not changed in 12 years, and I do realize the combination is hard to remember (it is 1-2-3, really). Pediasure. Those six bottles I sent in this morning … maybe they are for lunch?
Email sent yesterday to the Department of Public Health’s Department of Public Protection:
I am wondering about the status of the inquiry into my Nursing Complaint. The inquiry has been ongoing for 253 days (over eight months) and I am very uncomfortable with my daughter being in the care of this woman daily.
Thank you for your time and attention.
To which I receive …
I am presently working on this case now. Obviously there are any number of cases that I need to work a bit on each day but usually I have one or two cases that are my priority and this one is one of those at present. I am out of the office a few days next week but I can send you an email when it is about to go forward if you would like.
We went to a scheduled appointment with Pearlsky’s primary doctor today at the big city teaching hospital. We saw a resident first, which is unusual, because they know I throw them out of the room. I decided to be nice since this was her second week out of medical school.
She asked when Pearlsky’s last period was, I told her. Then …
Was the flow heavy?
Compared to what? I have no basis for comparison.
She just looked at me. Blankly.
Did she overflow her pad?
She wears diapers lined with plastic, nothing can get through. When she urinates and bleeds in a diaper, it may look like a war zone, but she does not overflow anything; I don’t need beach towels to clean up.
The stupid questions continued.
I still have not forgiven Elizabeth. She sometimes has the great give-a-ways and I did not win that dress. Still pissed about that. And now some mother book give-a-way thing. I guess fathers don’t count, eh? And Barbara has been known to also have drawings for books and things. Seems that people have all these good things to offer. There is even an offer for iPads out there in our community for our kids via some drawing, but I hear rumors that they have not yet been delivered as promised.
A couple of years back someone handling some of my personal investments made some decisions that involved lots of money. My money, and I was on board. It was a no brainer, besides, the main investor was one of us, from my community. He wouldn’t shit on us! Speaking of “shit” … never trust a man with the initials BM. Maybe during his 150 years in prison he’ll get a new moniker. Maybe I’ll get some of my money back.
My point is, and Single Dad always has one (even if you have to read between the lines to find it), when dealing with people you don’t personally know, be careful what you share, what you send, even members of our own community, those with kids like ours, be careful and be smart. You really never know.
So, what is the prize? What is Single Dad giving away and how do YOU get to win! No, ain’t no book. Ain’t no dress.
Just send in (gmail account is DisabledDaughter) a self-authored application, resume, 8 x 10 color glossy (photo is the most important part) (but I did not say a photo of what), and if you are chosen from the massive field of competitors, you may win a round trip all expense paid trip to Prague with Single Dad in the fall (if it becomes definite) and a life time of happiness with the man of your dreams. Ok, maybe not your dreams. Well, someone’s dreams. I had a dream once. There was no man in it, though. I think there was a sheep. Did I say that out loud? But I digress … Oh, and love of cats is not really a plus. (Ken, by the way, I’m figuring out a reason why you’re not eligible, nothing personal my friend, but, you said Jen has a second cousin or something?) The winner will be chosen completely at random after all the other applications have been politely rejected.
After all that time with Pearlsky last week, and now with her in camp … I miss her more during the day. Can’t win …
Speaking of winning, their are no photos in my inbox yet! Come on people, can’t win if you don’t enter!
I am just collecting HUNDREDS of dollars over here with my Shut-up envelope, getting richer by the minute!
Why don’t you spearhead a “Fathers of Intention” book?
And I would like to enter the giveaway. My glossy is forthcoming (getting my eyebrows waxed tomorrow)
What is a “self-authored application”?
Oh, shut up, Elizabeth. 🙂
And looking forward to your entry …
Rivka: One in which the applicant writes the questions as well. Better hurry, they are piling up.
And if you’re emailing it, can’t the photo be any size you make it on your end?…I am confused. Does this mean I am automatically disqualified? It’s a if-you-don’t-get-it-you-can’t-enter kind of a thing? 🙁
Yeah, the ipads never came. Luckily I am a skeptic by nature and so I am probably less disappointed than some.
laughing out loud, S.D.!!!!
I will be giving the url to this post to selected photogenic persons possibly motivated to visit Prague with someone’s dream of a man.
Shut up. My contact list is full of persons like that!
I’m sending in a pic of my neighbour’s cat.
Stumbled across your blog, promise me you won’t stop blogging:)
Hope you find that dream woman out there, if you don’t can I come!
If I weren’t so insecure, I’d send you my picture!
Oh, my. Serious discussion regarding iPads not delivered:
(I know leaving a link means you will have to approve this comment, SD.)
Jesus Christ, that whole thing with the missing/now-non-existant Ipads was a HUGE mess. Let me just state here and now that I did send SD a photo (two, in fact) but I DO NOT WANT TO BE IN ANY DRAWING TO WIN ANYTHING. Okay, SD? (Unless it’s a drawing for you to actually come over and visit me. That I would love.)
But are multiple entries allowed? Can we enter as often as we’d like? More importantly, are we allowed to “win” more than once in a 6 or 12 month period? Can we please see the rule book on this one? 😉
If I enter, can my wife come too?
Rachel, one would hope she would. 😉