Moronic medical team of the year award goes to …

We get an appointment mid morning today for 2:00 as an “urgent care” visit in the adolescent clinic and arrive at 1:50. Because we were not called in until 2:55, we missed an important blood draw during her medicine trough, we missed her timely feeding (so she was getting cranky), she got her scheduled meds 45 minutes late, but none of this is all that big a deal. I don’t expect doctors to really care about the patient’s schedule or needs.

The nurse takes us to the room. We discuss that she is the one who will catheter my daughter to get a urine sample since I suspect a urinary infection (UTI). She tells me she does these often and mentions her past experience with another group where she did this often.

Dr. M comes in. We never met her before. She says hello to me, ignores my daughter.

So, she has strong smelling urine.

I never said that, why do you?

That’s how we started. No acknowledgment of my daughter and some made up symptom. I go on to explain why I think she has a UTI.

The nurse will catheterize her and we decided to use this numbing cream.

This makes me chuckle. She honestly said “… we decided …” First, I insisted on it several hours before. Second, they never use it. Third, they actually asked me how to. But Dr. M “decided” … at this point I decided she was an idiot.

The nurse cleans my daughter while another nurse and I hold her. The doctor is across the room. She never touched my daughter, didn’t look at her, nada. Just made stuff up.

The nurse is not getting any urine. She asks the other nurse to push on my daughter’s bladder. Hmmmm … very dark red urine comes out … no … wait … that’s menstrual blood. The experienced nurse put the catheter in, well, the wrong place.

Again, the “experienced” nurse put the catheter in the very wrong place. The doctor did not blink.

Second try worked. The doctor took the sample and left. Never touched my daughter, never looked at her, but I bet she got paid for this “visit.”

So, let’s see … an hour late, does not acknowledge my daughter nor her own lateness, makes up symptoms my daughter does not have, does not examine her nor even look at her, claims credit (?) for medical decisions she did not make, stands by as the nurse randomly chooses orifices for a catheter, and when she did talk to me it was if I was a high school kid or something.

Dr. M … I vote that it stands for “moron.” As for the nurse, someone please explain some anatomy to her … does she confuse her own urethra with her vagina? Or only innocent young ladies … And no, she never apologized to my daughter. How incredibly rude is that? She sticks a catheter in the wrong place (and don’t think it was comfortable, my daughter was reacting negatively) and does not apologize to my daughter (nor to me, which would have been misdirected but trivially appropriate).

Moronic medical team of the year.

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