“We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief respites are called panic.” ~Cullen Hightower
If you are like me and 1) you don’t like spending your leisure time in a movie or reading a story that has anything other than a happy ending and 2) you fear what will happen if you die before your severely disabled kid and 3) you think that maybe it would be better if you and your kid die at the same time and 4) you worry you may die at home alone and wonder how long it will take for the stench to be so bad that the neighbors will call the police … then, whatever you do, do NOT read this article from The Independent in the UK. No, if you are like me, don’t read it.
But, on the other hand, if you wear glasses, and hate what they cost, read about these guys here in the N.Y. Times.
Admit it, you read that first article, didn’t you? Now you know why I’m thinking of giving everyone the username and password to my nanny cam …
SD, you are not like the mother in the article. You are NOTHING like the woman in the article. A big reason: because you give your daughter the opportunity to visit other places, like a day care. You let her go out, meet people, try new things. You would not and do not shut her up in the house like a shameful secret, so that if people don’t see her for two weeks they don’t think of it as abnormal. What that poor girl went through….
SD, Rivka said it perfectly. Pearlsky is a member of her community. People would notice if the two of you disappeared. (Heck, we’d all notice if you went two days without updating your blog!!)
I agree with Rivka and Erin. I doubt you’d have to worry much, as it seems like you and Pearlsky have quite a few fans. It wouldn’t be long at all before someone came looking for the both of you.
That’s such a sad story, though. I first read it a few months ago, and it’s just as heartbreaking/stomach turning now as it was then.
I read the article, too, but I think there’s far more to that story than we might initially think or surmise. I don’t think it’s a stretch to imagine her growing increasingly depressed as the years go by nor that she’d despair enough to kill her daughter before killing herself. And the outcries of the community, I think, are suspicious — I, for one, am raising a child with severe disabilities and have plenty of “support,” but I am terrified even now when my daughter is only fifteen of what will happen to her when I’m gone. Just the other day, as I helped Sophie from the car to my house, I thought very unemotionally about the prospect of dying before her and whether I would want her dead before me, etc. They seem like depressed thoughts, but they are actually almost casual thoughts. This is reality for many, many people.
SD, I know where you live. My sister knows where you live. We know your phone number and email address. We both read this blog. We are Big Brother.
If you stopped blogging for a suspiciously long time, we’d try to contact you. And if we couldn’t find you, we’d be on the phone with your neighbors or local police pretty quick.
Looks like you don’t have to wonder any more that it will take long for someone to miss you. Thank you, Sarah B. – from all of us too far away to take quick action.
Really, SD. Readers here KNOW there are IRL people who care about you. Tsck,tsck – don’t even try that one on us.
I took your advice, because I trust you, and read neither article.
And can you please tell me what is the deal with the little diamonds with the question marks in them. Are you lobbying for adding a new marshmallow to Lucky Charms or something?
Well, thank you all for the concern! No, I do not believe what happened in the article can happen to me and Pearlsky. The article does combine several fears into one horrific scenario though. The fear of dying and leaving your helpless child, dying and no one finding you for a long time, your child being horribly neglected, etc. Do I have those fears? Yes, at the tough moments. Of course, if something happened to me, it would be hours, less than 24, before a nanny, the school bus and aide, the goddess Aphrodite, someone would know. The other day when my blog was pretty much dead for 24 hours (right after the posting of “I wish I were dead” ironically enough) I got a couple of “checking in” emails. So, no, that article’s scenario will not happen here. But to me, that can be the script of a horror film. Even now, thinking of the young woman, I get the chills.
Sarah: NOT the police! The kid across the street is now on the force! (To the rest of you, Sarah and Rivka grew up next door).
Barbara: I try not to spend too much time IRL (In Real Life)!
Ken: I think the diamond question mark things (“�”) are a bizarre confilict of this new comment editor and the new look of the blog. I may go back to the old editor for now, I am trying to figure this one out. In the mean time, now I’m hungry …. where are my Lucky Charms?
I think the question marks are cute. They add style, so severely lacking on this new improved blog. 😉
(I can hear SD humphing from here.)
I wear glasses so I clicked the second link (actually got the ad first, then figured it out).
Now I guess I will go read the “downer” article.