Besides that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play? *
Friday started off as your normal super sucky day …
First an email that I would rather have not received. Then off to work. Then a conference call with a customer, a group of engineers pretty much as lame as any I have come across. They keep finding problems with “my thing” (mind you, they have one thing from me, and my least expensive) which turn out to be their stupidity. Every few days they call, usually with some boss on the phone, I end up asking one question and they end the call realizing they are, well, not bright. Then I get a call for lunch. Sounds good, huh? Yeah, a friend’s mom is in town, wants to have lunch. Just so happens, she was my first girlfriend (yes, first, as in f-i-r-s-t) and we dated again a couple of years ago. Then back to work.
So the day was dandy. Then I get home.
I need to show you something.
Not how you want the nanny to greet you. She showed me Pearlsky’s arms. Seeing how a picture is worth a thousands words (has anyone really counted?) here goes:
That is her forearm. That is a welt. The white part? About a quarter of an inch raised above the red part. And you know what’s worse? She has a matching one on the other arm.
I turn to the nanny and say …
You need to start talking.
She explains that the aide on the bus said that they tried some contraptions to stop Pearlsky from doing the one thing she enjoys AND the one thing she can control, putting her fingers in her mouth. I would say whatever the contraption was, well, maybe not the best idea, huh?
Then the following email was sent (as of now, no response) …
So how exactly did Pearlsky get these welts?
I have to take her to the hospital Monday morning and I am going to be asked about this, and that won’t be pretty. Please explain.
So, how was the play?
* For those who may not get the reference, one of our beloved presidents, Abraham Lincoln, was assassinated in 1865 while sitting with his wife, watching the play “Our American Cousin.” The expression has evolved for such a day as mine, which even I admit, was a tad better than getting shot in the head with a single-shot, round-ball .44 caliber (11 mm) Derringer at point-blank range. Or, maybe not …
Poor Pearlsky! I am really seeing red over this one. I still cannot understand why they want to take away the one thing she has control over, especially since it gives her pleasure. And to use something that causes huge welts in order to keep her from doing something harmless and innocent? That seems nothing short of sadistic to me.
How can they possibly think it’s o.k to use any kind of restraint without your permission?
Check with a lawyer; schools may not be allowed to use restraints in certain states. And even if your state allows restraints, it doesn’t sound like they were used properly. Frankly, I consider this assault.
I don’t understand the role of the “aide on the bus.” Is the bus aide simply the person who passed along a message about how she got welts at school? Or were they trying to stop her from putting her fingers in her mouth on the bus?
If the former it’s bad enough! But if the latter . . . trying new therapy on the bus? What the – ?
I also don’t understand this obsession with getting her to stop putting her fingers in her mouth, especially since you have said explicitly that you don’t mind if the behavior continues. They used either something immediately burning, or kept her restrained through prolonged attempts on her part to get free. Either way, this is really bad (as you know).
I don’t care if she was putting her hands down her pants. Those welts are signs of abuse. For ANY adult in the school system to leave marks like that on ANY child for ANY reason is completely unacceptable.
I can’t believe you’re not socking out the aide. I would. Jesus.
This is absolutely outrageous! If you took Pearlsky to the hospital and told them that the welts are from YOU trying to put some contraption on her, they would report you for possible child abuse. Seriously, this is unacceptable. And what’s the big deal about her putting her hands in her mouth anyway?
Oh, my god. Poor Pearlsky, that looks agonisingly painful. I’m sickened by the thought.
I agree totally with Rivka – she has been assaulted and somebody should be under arrest for this.
I trust that she’ll be remaining safe at home until the investigation has been concluded. Christ only knows what they have previously done to Pearlsky or anybody else that was not noticed by a caregiver, or did not leave a mark.
Restraints? What is this? Medieval times?
Honestly, educate us.
At this point, you all know as much as I do. It is Monday morning, she came home like that Friday. No one has called nor answered emails asking for an explanation.
We are on our way to scheduled doctor’s appointments. I have no idea what I will tell them, but I will refuse to see residents or anyone we have not known for years.
For many reasons, not the least of which was this, this has been an awful weekend. Hope yours was better. Thanks for your support, as always.