Can I have some?

I’m sitting in a meeting. There are a few of us, everyone knows that I do not shut my phone, and they know why, no problem.

Half way into it, I get that wonderful vibration in my pocket. Ah, the combination of a good feeling, and somehow knowing that the shit is about to hit the fan.

I take out my phone, look at the caller ID, and upon seeing “school nurse” I turn my chair around and in an effort to get this done quickly I just bend over in my seat and start talking quietly. The meeting was an informal one of some people who work for me, so it was no big deal.

Hi, this is Mary and no, I am not sending her home. She is not happy and crying a bit, can I give her some Advil?

No. Give her 3 cc’s of Valium.

Silence. “Did you hear me?”

Yes, why Valium?

Because that’s what she needs. There is a doctor’s order on file, please give it to her.

Okay, but why?

Yes, at that point I should have left the room, but they all know my daughter and what goes on, I was getting aggravated, so … (although the Keeper would have told me the proper response, I went with …)

Because it is mittelshmerz pain and cramping and that is what she needs.

How do you know?

I lost it. Raising my voice a bit (and yes, these are the words I used) …

Look at her face. Did you notice it is a bit broken out? Hormones. They are surging. Also, it was about 10 days ago she was bleeding like a stuck pig, remember? And two months since the last time this happened. And, if I did not give her Alieve this morning, you would have sent her home because her temperature rises at ovulation. Now will you please give her the damn Valium so she will stop crying?

Yes, I will right now.

I hang up and turn around. The only woman at the conference table looks me in the eye and says …

Can I have some?

I meet the school van at the house about two hours later. Her one-on-one aide is with her, as always. She just looks at me and says …

That worked great. Can I have some?


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