23 Sep 2009
Things I’ve learned …
- Wiping the blue stuff off an Aleve tablet with a wet paper towel makes it much easier to crush and dissolve.
- The only ones who think that not having a diagnosis is not a big deal are those who have a diagnosis.
- Having your daughter wear a t-shirt that says “Better f–ked up then a f–k up” is not considered funny by everyone.
- There are women who are not afraid to take on a single guy with a disabled daughter. Those are the good ones. The ones who ask if you like cats are the throw-aways.
- Trying to change your daughter when she is in the midst of a giggle and coughing fit and it is not the best time of the month can result in a hysterically funny and hysterically gross incident that you will never describe to anyone. Ever.
- No, you don’t understand. You can’t, you don’t and don’t even start to think you do.
- Pediasure doesn’t suck. Actually if you are running late and did not get your breakfast, it works. The vanilla and chocolate, beware of the strawberry. And the orange tastes just like Tegretol.
- Mendelian genetics and the theory of one in four pregnancies going south if both parents are carriers is bullshit.
- When I first learned of the Ferber Method, I thought Ferber was an idiot. When I met Dr. Ferber, I confirmed he was an idiot. When he re-wrote his book and changed his mind on his theories (somewhat), I still thought him to be an idiot.
- This man, however, has a reserved spot in heaven. Near the window.
- Social workers and school nurses are living proof that you can conceive during anal sex.
- When Dorothy said “There’s no place like home,” she was right. Home is unique to the core. I still don’t know why she wanted to go back.
- “You and your friends get together. Everyone puts their problems on the table. When you look at them all, you’ll take back your own.” ~ Pearl, and boy do I miss her.
- At best, medicine is an art and not a science.
- Mom was right when she taught me, starting at about age two, that “adore” is more than “love” and I would understand it when I had kids.
- Mom was right when she told me, at age 34, that it did not matter what the kid was like, “adore” is “adore.”
- If offered a magic pill that would instantly make my daughter “normal” I’d … hesitate, think about it, and probably give it to her. Maybe.
- People can and do “rise to the occasion.” And some do so beautifully (msdb …).
- God works in mysterious ways. Some of them suck.
- My kids have taught me how to love unconditionally, they have brought wonderful people into our lives, how to appreciate both the little and big things, that without perspective we have nothing, and that despite it all, life ain’t so bad when you have friends, love, hope and support. Oh, and let’s not forget blog friends.
(Have you noticed the Gallery is growing?)(Stand up for your kid!)
Love this post…though Pediasure still makes me gag, in all flavours! You have a fab Mom…Mine wanted me to put kiddo in an institution and “save yourself and your marriage”…UGH. Ah…normal…hands down for my chick, no hesitation. I’m the one who would hesitate to take it….! Ditto #20!
Two of my kid’s doctors told me this morning that I am doing an amazing job with my son, and that there are many parents that do not. I’ve learned that I can handle this and all it entails, but I really want to know what these other parents are failing to do and how they get away with it! Like we have a choice?
The biggest thing I’ve learned: People are pushed to their limit when confronted with great adversity, and it’s then that you find out what a person is made of, and some surprise you and others let you down. But you cannot change them.
Like the post much! Will remember the Aleve blue stuff point. And yes, Pediasure sucks toe jam. Ewww big time.
I thought you weren’t supposed to crush Aleve, because it’s time released and crushing it ruined that and made the entire dose go in at once??? Wrong? Mislead? Hope so. Obviously, your kid is still alive.
Claire: I called the company directly and discussed it with them before ever using it. I was told the tablets were fine to crush and dissolve. 1-800-395-0689
I like this post. I wish that I could sit down with you and our other blogger friends and have a drink or a beer and some really good food.
It has only been seven months, but so far I’ve learned that
1. anything can happen to anybody anytime
2. well-meaning people can hurt you with well-meaning comments so people sometimes just need to shut up
3. you don’t know how much you can handle until life throws it at you and you just have to deal with it
4. if I don’t hang on to my sense of humor I will end up in a corner curled up, moving back and forth
5. just because someone has an M.D. after his/her name, it doesn’t mean s/he is not an idiot
6. sometimes you can relate to complete strangers with similar struggles more than your own friends
7. that I am extremely fortunate that I have a wonderful husband, because being a single parent with a disabled child is a whole other level of difficult
You and your blog rock.
No. 13 – the primary basis for effectiveness in group therapy. My opinion.
*smile* “Oh, and let’s not forget blog friends.”
Wish I could say I’ve learned not to comment too much or too quickly. But sometimes I still do.
While I’m not in ‘the club’ (thus I will never understand, No. 6) some of the members are still nice to me.
I’ve had the privilege of meeting some of the bloggers I met online first. ‘S funny to others when I said I’m meeting someone I met online. I’m traveling soon, but I don’t think it is near you. My schedule is tight but one blogger is still considering driving an hour to meet me.
Hoping to never stop learning.
Erika: Great list! Can you send me a contact via my contact page … I could not comment on your blog.
Barbara: Yes, you are welcome in our club. Consider your self lucky to not have to pay the dues.
Elizabeth: I own a small coffee company … so I’ll bring the coffee. You and Keeper can do the food!
This was the best list EV-Ver. Ok, number 5 made me laugh outload and i spit all over my keyboard. and i could relate… gotta love the crap filled diaper during the time of the month while in fits of hysterics. especially if she has already broken into her diaper and started to smear and eat it. thats always a rockin’ good time :). And number 3 — where did ya get that tshirt and how do i get one???
number 11 and 19 – The. Best. HA!!
um, i darst say you are genius. Total genius.
Stumbled upon your blog & i absolutely LOVE this list!!! Definitely so very true! Thanks for the laughs today! Monica
I love reading your posts. I enjoy your writing and your honesty (about things that annoy you as well as things that don’t).
The first thing they tell you in a genetics course, if you go to a halfway decent school, is that you can never say shit about someone’s condition. You don’t know enough and you don’t understand, it doesn’t matter how many books you read. A bachelor’s means you need to keep your mouth shut. Only a genetic’s counsellor even has a hope and it’s never going to be a casual conversation.
Mendelian genetics barely touches anything, although it was a very important discovery and people like me will never get it. I hope that one day, someone does know and that the knowing provides something that is of use.
Ferber is an idiot…
Dr Ferber is an idiot. Ferberizing is comparable to abuse.
@Claire I guess it depends on the whole situation. A friend of mine has a mentally disabled kid. Nowhere near as severe as what you or Single Dad are handling, but his behaviour is disrupting the entire family up to the point where his older brothers and sister are going through depressions and other problems. It’s your choice to sacrifice yourself to take care of a disabled child and no one can make it for someone else, but would you sacrifice your other children too?
I really enjoy reading your blog, however, what do you have against social workers? I know several people, including myself, that are going to school to become a social worker. I realize that you have had a few bad experiences with social workers, but please don’t lump us all into the same bad category.